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Anxiety Message Board

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Here's my story.. i have been suffering w/ terrible anxiety since i was 9 yrs old. Been on and off tons of meds for anxiety disorder/depresion. I also cut myself but haven't done that in a while. My life semed to be going fine a few weeks ago, i have a great husband, nice place to live, great joc etc.. I am currently taking 37.5 mg of effexor, 900 mg of neurontin and 1 mg of klonopin every morning..
Then everything changed, almosst 3 weeks ago I got my gallbladder out. The operation was a success, my stomach feels better but my recovery was awful. I thought it was going to be so easy and i would just get it out and go on with my life, but they had to admit me to the hospital due to a unusually fast heartrate and let me go the next day.. a few days later i developed a low grade fever off 99 every nite, like clockwork. I started to freak out, and i mean freak out. All i could think of, was that i had a life threatining illness on top of no gallbladder and i was going to die. I had to move home to my parents house and basically live in my old room. The fever lasted about a week and has finally went away on it's own. I should be happy but instead I am a complete nervous wreck. My anxiety is at it's all time worse. None of my meds seem to be working anymore, and the worst part is, I can't get a good nite's sleep. I can technically sleep thru the nite but then i wake up in the morning w/ this horrible feeling inside, like i can't fall back asleep and my legs shake and my heartrate is pounding like crazy. The day time is always the worst for me in terms of my anxiety.. i don't know why, but i'm nauseaus, nervous and only seem to feel better at night. Does this sound crazy? Has anyone experienced this? I called my psychiatrist and cried to her teling her how miserable i am and she told me to try seroquel at bedtime, that it would help me sleep and take the "edge off" my anxiety. Can someone please help me? I am slowly isolating my friends, husband and everyone i love. I want my old life back and don't know what to do.. why do i always feel more calm at nite? It's almost like i don't want the nite to end so I don't habe to go thru another day of hell.. Was my surgery THAT traumatizing that i became an anxious wreck all over again? I'm really at my wit's end here. Oh and i can only eat at nite when i feel more calm. The thought of eating during the day makes me want to throw up. In fact i'm nauseaus most parts of the day. Thanks for reading. Hope someone can help me..

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