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Anxiety Message Board

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JsonB, you hit the nail on the head, my friend! Ever since i was a kid, i didn't like being around people, i was very withdrawn, although i wish i could be more social. I always second-guessed what i was saying, and avoided confrontation as much as possible for fear of having an anxiety attack. I felt like i had to act a certain way, say all the right things, so if i had a conversation, i was concentrating more on those thoughts of how to act in my head, which often times made me completely miss the conversation in hand and make me look like an idiot. I'm 38 now, and felt sick and tired of devoting so much of my mind energy to try to overcome this that i spoke with a doctor. He prescribed, Paxil, which i do NOT want to take. I am completely against any medication unless it is truly needed for a physical ailment. I used to drink... a lot! After 1 or 2 drinks, i would finally start to feel relaxed, not second-guess my thoughts, etc, but the obvious downside is that i would want to maintain that relaxed feeling, so i would keep on drinking, and that only lead to problems.

I saw a naturopath. He said "What is it you do?"....which is music, audio engineering, writing. He said that a lot of people who are artistic are "hyper-sensitive" to the world around them, and it can get overwhelming, and he reminded me of all the great artists who have OD'd or completely withdrawn themselves from society. He told me that i needed a sanctuary, a place where only i knew where it was and go there and just BREATHE. I did this, and it has worked has helped me realise that i am completely perfect the way i am, with all my imperfections. Some people are good at public speaking....i'm not. Some people enjoy big social gatherings...i don't. I'm ok hanging out with my best friends in a comfortable place, so that's what i do.....and i don't let people pressure me to do things which i'm uncomfortable with.

I decided to start my own audio production company, which i do out of the front room of my house, because it's my passion, it's what i've [U][I]always[/I][/U] wanted to do, it's who i am. When the phone rings from a possible client, the words come out of my mouth naturally and smoothly, because i KNOW my passion, and get excited talking to people about it....with no second guessing....I hope this rings a bell for some people.

Some people are extroverted, and some people (like myself) are introverted, and do you know what?....that's ok! :)

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