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Hey Charmed One, I also suffer from the fear of loved ones dying, but not to the extent that you do. I lost my Dad to lung cancer 11 yrs ago. Watching someone die a horrible death from cancer can leave you tramatized for a long time. I fear my Mother,Husband and daughers may die. I have calmed down a bit with my daughters because they have both been driving for 6 - 7 yrs. When they first took the car out by themselves, I would make them call me when they arrived at their destination and again when they were leaving to come home. I've gotten over that now since they both live on their own and I don't know of their comings and goings. My Mom had breat cancer about 3 yrs ago and even though it had not spread, I have a horrible fear of her cancer coming bacl.
Now for the grand finale of my wories is my husbnd...... he had his first bypass at age 36 -just sprung out of the blue. He almost died and they had to shock him 3 times to bring hime back. Well exactly 6 yrs later he had a cardiact cath, they ballooned a blockage but did not put a stent in becuse he didn't think it was neccessary. Thank God they kept him over night. I got a phone call at midnight that night that artory had colapesed (due to lack of stent) and he was having a heart attack. I had to go back to the hospital on a rainy night after taking a unisom to sleep. Exactly 6 yrs later, he started having chest pains and was talked into having another cardiac cath and it was horrible. He ended up on a balloon pump assisting his hear beat. They wanted him t0 lay flat on his back from Friday till Mnday when they planeed on doing another bypassl He was not cooperatve about laying flat on his back and insisted they take out the ballon pump. Well he immediatly had anoter hear attack. He had to have an emergency bypass after tjhey rounded up the team (who were very grouchy after being called in at Midnight on a Saturday to a bypas). Well nex yr will be another 6 yrs since the last and he says he will not ever have another caridiac cathl. I realized this a few months ago (the six yrs) and I am convinced he is going to die year. It's really not an unreasonable worry.
Anyway,enough about me. You need to talk to your doctor about changing your meds. Obviously, the Zolloft i not working and there are so many other antianxiety drugs out there that mayhelp. Paxil worked good for me until I had a major depression and I recently switched to Lexapro. Ony been on it for 2 weeks but am starting to feel better. Please see your doctor soon and discuss switching your meds. You may also want to see a therapisR.
Best w
IAE
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