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My story
Mar 17, 2008
Hi everyone,

I'm new to the board. I always have a feeling discussing issues helps me better. I first started taking Lexapro for anxiety about 7 years ago and then took Celexa for a couple years. I always have a thought in my mind that I can do it on my own and I don't need medication. Hopefully reading stories and talking to others can help me cope with my problems. My doctor put me on Prozac and Lorazepam today.

I've had some problems with anxiety for a while as stated above. I have a highly important and stressful job which depends on me being me. I used to love going to work everyday and doing the job I do and working with the people I work with. In the last 2 months, I have been moved to a different set of workers. I feel at all times I have to carry my co-workers and I'm not the supervisor. The supervisor makes several errors throughout the day. Some of these errors are minor and have no affect on anyone, but one day someone is going to get hurt or die and I know I will not be able to take it. I have been at this job for 6 1/2 years and it is somewhat of a dream job for me. I make very good money but money doesn’t seem to be a factor and I have discussed to my wife about quitting for a lower paying job if I found one. My wife has been very supportive through my problems.

I also do volunteer work. I spread myself way too thin taking on too many jobs at once. I have OCD so each job has to be perfect and I will lose sleep over it if it isn't. I am in charge of 3 different areas of this volunteer situation. I feel that it’s too much, but I will not quit. That’s not me. I have to complete a job and complete it well beyond my satisfaction. I think sometimes I strive on work and have no time for myself.

I bowl 2 nights a week for relaxation. My friends and I have a great time. I have the best time when I drink alcohol. This is becoming more and more to help my sorrows. I don't drink in danger of not going to work. I always give myself a long enough window. I do not drink at work and I do not drink and drive, my wife takes me and picks me up or we have a designated driver. My average is 2-3 beers a day when not on night works and 12-15 twice a week.

I have sexual side effects also. I have the inability to complete an orgasm. My wife is very understanding and comforts me. But how long is it going to be before she leaves me. It’s hard to find someone and she puts up with me and all my weird ways. I don't know if I could find another woman like that.

Well today was the kicker. I worked night shift last night. I had a fasting blood draw with my family doctor in the morning for high cholesterol. I had several very stressful situations concur before making it to the doctor. Two of my friends were involved in an accident and I cussed out a co-worker but apologized before I left the building. Finally getting out of there, I made it to the doctors, 30 minutes late due to work being busy. I apologized to her for my tardiness and she understood. She started taking my blood and when she was done I asked her for medicine for anxiety. I told her that I was having problems at work and the job I used to love and couldn't wait to go to work to has gotten so bad I cringed about the thought of entering the building. She stated she would give me something and at that point I broke down. I cried like a baby and I didn't know who saw me or at that point didn't care. She consoled me and brought me back to her office. Granted she had other patients waiting and I was late for my appointment without even calling but she was there for me and I am extremely grateful. You don't find doctors like that anymore. She prescribed me Prozac and Lorazepam which I started taking today.

I look forward to hearing from everyone and hopefully this community can help each other through our problems. God Bless.

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