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Anxiety Message Board

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Hi All, I am new to this forum. Like many, I suffer from anxiety. It has been about two and half yrs, since I've been an anxiety sufferer. As you all are aware of we were so shocked with this first happened to us and thought we were going crazy. You've all know the symtoms and stories, so I will speed up. I'm here because i'm seeking help and understanding. I was seeing a therapist the first year, but pulled away when I thought I was getting better, likewise, i didn't think the therapist was helping, so I thought I'd cope with it myself. Well, it's been a 1 1/2 hr since I stop and now has scheduled to go back, since my anxiety is getting worst. I swear I can't get a minute to focus and to try to control this damn thing. Lately, it's been more of the intrusive thoughts that have been troubling me and then causing my anxiety or panic attacks. Life has become a struggle for me everyday in trying to cope with these thoughts and feelings I now go through. Somedays, I just don't know what to do or where and who I can get help. I notice when I'd tell others of some of the things I was feeling or thinking I was able to then feel better, but there are those bizzarre thoughts and feelings for which I cannot tell anyone because I'm afraid they would look at me like I'm crazy or derange. The idea of going crazy of feeling like an evil person are what scares me more. It totally makes me to be anything, but the real me. I've always considered myself to be a God-fearing man who is quite practical, but lately, I've been doubting that because of these current feelings and conditions I now go through. Like I have stated i'm unable to talk to anyone of these things because of fear of how they may perceive me. Please help, I have tons more of things to say.
[QUOTE=ammy05;3503388]:) Nobody on this board thinks you are crazy or deranged . Many of us have or had the same feelings as you . ( like this morning when my husband was leaving for work , I have having a major panic attack ) I couldn't tell him because he doesn't understand , I was so scared to be alone , I didn't want him to leave me here alone . I am very good at hiding my feelings . My anxiety is worse in the morning . My intrusive thoughts always hit me in the middle of the night , wake up with heart pounding out of my chest , and then the ( what ifs ) comes in . I want to run away and hide . But i managed to pull myself together somewhat . Knowing that I am not alone and I have somewhere to go and share my feelings has been a Godsend to me . I don't post much but i am usually here . Sometimes I wish we had a chat room to go too , but is probably better to remain anyomous (ms) . So I guess what I started out saying was , if you need to (talk) about your fears or feeling or just unload , this board is a great place with many wonderful people .:angel:[/QUOTE]

Thank you. The latest intrusive thought I'm battling is the idea of me on the train. I've been taking the train to work or school all my life, but in the last two week I've been frightened to get on the train fearing that something terrible may happen. I'm not worried of the train crashing or getting stuck on the bridge or tunnel, but possibly worst. This thought came to me about 1 1/2 week ago and it has gone over in my mind non-stop. This simple what if has thrown me off again right when I was starting to enjoy myself again. I swear why does my mind wants me to be a prisoner. I'm such an outgoing person, but have had a serious dark cloud over these last few days. Since then, my anxiety has gone up 80%, especially in the morning when it's time for me to make my commute to work. I've already find altenate steps to going to work, but feel like I'll just be running from the problem. Right now, thoughts are raising to my head, since it's only a couple of hours left before my making my commute home. Crazy, isn't it? I'm so annoyed right now I'm asking myself how I'm gonna get over this one.
You know all of us who suffer from severe anxiety have had the intrusive thoughts. You are not alone. I've had my share. I really believe the intrusive thoughts are scaring you and that is why you are having them. When we are under a severe amount of anxiety out minds do incredible things to protect us. Sometimes they are not always pleasant. These intrusive thoughts are your mind's way of not thinking about what is truly bothering you. You are not alone. You are not going crazy. You are normal and a member of the growing American society that suffer from anxiety disorders. Just know that this is not a permanent condition and will get better. I would suggest going to your family doctor and getting some help with medication. Medication can help you - either AD or antianxiety medication. I take Paxil and it has helped me with my anxiety disorder. I've had anxiety and did not take any drugs in the beginning and it took me longer to feel normal again. When I took medication I started feeling normal again within 4 weeks. I hope you seek help from your family doctor soon. Best wishes!

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