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I had panic attacks all the time when the kids were small - worrying that something would happen to me and they'd be left to fend for themselves when my husband was away. My husband is my safe person too - so are my parents. I go through phases of anxiety. At the moment I wouldn't take my kids to the movies because it would be too hard to sit there without a panic attack (mind you I have the emergency xanax in my bag). In the last couple of months I've had a couple of panic attacks in the car with my kids and it's been upsetting for them. It's made me feel really bad because it's scary for them (the ones in the car with me are 10 and 13). At one stage it was so bad that I was digging my nails into my arm to distract myself from the panic and the 13 year old was saying 'don't do that mum!' I'm sure he thought I was going off my head.

what is causing your fear of dying hopeful? Mine was a family history of heart disease. every symptom I got I thought was a heart attack. but I recently had a stress echo and I feel a bit better. I think people like us who are naturally a bit anxious can get very overwhelmed and anxious about the responsibility of having children who are totally dependent on us. I've tried zoloft (which actually worked) and recently lexapro (which made me a bit manic) and I have xanax in my bag but I don't like it because it makes me tired and grumpy when it's wearing off.

a couple of weeks ago I was so bad (couldn't sleep but soo tired, couldn't eat) that I said to my mother 'I feel like a little girl wanting someone to look after me.' It's pathetic. I'm 40!

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