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Anxiety Message Board

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I have to say, I've never thought I'd suffer from this....anxiety, that is. Truth is, I have minor cerebral palsy, and also a mother who never accepted it...long story short, I think my mother is making me stressed about my situation, until now... it's even worse.

I am very able-bodied with the only exception that I tend to have poor balance every now and then. i'm self-sufficient and do everything and anything.

By "until now," I mean that for four years now I've been choking on my food. I went for a swallowing test, which came out normal. The thing that was suggested is that, me being that my CP make my nerves "over-react," that my choking has been due to feeling stressed. It has come to a point where I have cut from my diet anything "tough" to chew in fear of choking.

My mother sees that as such a dramatic occurrance, that she is always on top of me when I eat, saying thing like, will you ever eat like a normal person again?? Instead of showing some compassion for me, she stabs me like a knife with her words.

It really has come to a point where I am scared to eat anything tough alone. I was talking to my uncle about this and he thinks something like Celexa would help a great deal. I think, when I am alone, I feel anxious. And by alone I mean by myself for days (as in when my parents go vacation.) The slightest noise makes me jump, brings upon dizziness, sometimes, and i just feel very on edge. I am not alone completely, I have my brothers me at night after work. I am currently off from work.

Also, knowing I have so many chores around the house also makes me nervous, and I worry about getting them done. My mother stays home so she usually does everything, but when she is away I have to do everything.

But right now, its eating. How can I overcome this feeling? Does it ever go away? Th e fear of choking, that is. Before this choking fear, I had absolutely no fear of eating alone, or being alone in my house. Now it's like, what ever I eat alone, it must be liquid form. I'm so upset. I want to over come..even small bites of things like bread has me nervous when I get that feeling of it being "stuck." I feel like i will die from a heart attack...and speaking of anxiety, my aunt, who's 39, she felt a sense of uneasiness with her body, thinking she had MS after feelling various of its symptoms. After multiple tests, she was told it was all in her head!! I couldn't believe it! Am I in that boat as well? Is it just all in my head and me being too nervous or tense, the choking?

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