It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Anxiety Message Board


Anxiety Board Index
Board Index > Anxiety | 0-9 A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z


Hello,

I will try and make this as clear as I possibly can. I am feeling really sick at the moment so, please bear with me.

I suffer from Dysthymia, Bi-polar disorder and a severe anxiety disorder. I was under a psychiatrist's care up to four weeks ago. Taking 2x 1mg of Kalonzapam, 4x 250mg Valproic Acid and 40mg of Citalopram every day. I was taking Invega for my Bi-polar disorder, however, I found I liked myself better off of it.

The reason for not being under a doctor's care, is due to not being able to afford it anymore. I went cold turkey from my drugs, and sure, it was really bad at first but, it has seemed to level off.
I am currently employed, but, this may change as early as today.
Being under the influence of these mind altering drugs, did allow me some sway to which I could handle things better. Things such as work, going out in public, hanging out at friends houses etc. Now, these things are getting harder and I am trying to sort it all out.

Currently I have massive debt, resulting in credit cards in collection and school loans. My job pays me next to nothing. I barely can afford to keep my bills paid, while I lean on my girlfriend to drive me places and pay for the food on my plate and a roof over my head.
This is very frustrating for me, as I was brought up to be a bread winner and not to rely on others for financial support.
It is a very humbling experience for me and it causes me feel inadequate, which leads to more anxiety and depression.
I basically work just so I can get by. I have no savings, I have no property to sell, nothing.
On top of all this, my job literally makes me have an anxiety attack every time I have to go to work or if I start thinking about having to go, then night before. Like now...

It does not get better once I am there. I literally have to make sure I focus all my attention on not flipping out on someone. In a customer service job, this is really hard.
I graduated from a vocation college a few months ago and have been looking for a new job for much longer. I have sat down with my managers at work and have asked if they could help in any way. To which I was pretty much told that, if I can't be relied on to work, that I would need to look for another job.
I am part time, I have no set hours, no paid time off, no insurance, no nothing.

I come here for the first time, out of desperation.
Out of all the threads I have read, just googling questions about how I feel, most if not all have two or more people saying no job is worth this and I should try and find a better job..

I have looked for a better job. All the jobs that I have had, have ended up with me quitting or getting fired due to my disorders. I can not get disability due to being able to work. They see it as more laziness, than anything else. Then again, it's not like the brightest people work for the government...

Should I just man up and go to work and throw my problems to the side for the hours I am at work?

or..

Do you think my job needs to go and that I should focus on getting better?



If I quit my job, I will have to file for bankruptcy. There is no way around it.
If I stay employed, well, things will just continue the way they are.
I'll have money to pay my bills but, my sanity will be put the test again and again.

I have to be at work in less than eight hours and with every second passing, the stress and anxiety continues to build.

Thanks for your time.





All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:18 PM.





2019 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!