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Hi Everyone...

I'm new to the board but I need some help. First let me say, I know i have General anxiety disorder. Sometimes I have panic attacks, but msotly it involves obsessing until I convince myself of having a certain problem that may or may not be real (I think? Im not sure). I see a psychologist, and recently got off of Lexapro after a year of being on it. Panic attacks are manageable now, and I'm not feeling abnormally anxious, but I am having one issue: I think I'm desensitizing things in response to being overwhelmed, and its affecting my feelings for my husband. I think it's making me over-react and think that I shouldnt be married.

Backstory: My husband and I just got married and we've been together for almost two years.. Let me just start off and say he's amazing. We love the same things, he's responsible, smart as hell, determined.... He just bought a house for us, he cooks me food, its unreal, and hes adorable too....his family is amazing, its just great. that being said..

I know i have GAD, and tend to "freak out" when I'm overwhelmed, and I think it affects how I feel about my relationship. Example: When I graduated college, all of a sudden, I was so stressed I just didn't feel 'in love' any more with him. Then because of this, I freaked out... and obsessed so much about it, I actually talked myself out of being in love with him, for about a month... utnil I finally calmed down and things finally got back to where I was head over heals again. (I did this a lot when I was a child, where I used to be so afraid i would puke, I'd actually end up convincing myself i was sick and actually puking). I never told him my feelings for HIM were changing, but he knwos about my problem, and tries to help. He just really can't understand.

I did a mini freak out when we got engaged too, but it didnt last long. Now that we're married.. I'm doing it again. I have no reason for this either, because he's a great guy. I think I may be over-reacting to some of his fairly small flaws... like he has a weird way of getting 'emo' or moody and depressed, and it scares me. It almost makes me panic, however its not REAL depression, where he's violent, or anything... he just needs to be alone, or gets offended easliy, for no more than like an hour once in a while. I think I'm so afraid, because I used to be in an emotionally abusive relationship, where the end result was me being screamed at. My counselor thinks i'm reacting to the past feelings, and therefore becoming terrified. I dont understand why his moodiness makes me question US. I think moodiness when upset, and then eventually talking issues out, is exactly what I've always wanted.... so why am I so scared of him when he does this?

On top of his moodiness, I've got a lot on my plate: Marriage, changing my name, starting grad school, etc. Could this be why I dont feel that head over heals in love feeling? Our sex life is still good, but its not as.... passionate? I look at things he does, like the moodiness thing, and then automatically analyze them and worry about even smaller things, that thigns arent right... and these are little things.. I know they're stupid... .and i think I'm convincing myself to pick him apart to where I am almost not finding him attractive at all right now....I think its all because I want so badly for this to go away, i obsess about why I feel this way, analyze him more, and convince myself somethings wrong, that he's not THE ONE for me.. which makes me feel trapped, and then I panic more.

I go to counseling for my anxiety issues, and my psych. already told me that thsi can happen, but I really just need some people to share if they've had this experience, and if it's gotten better for them. I think I'm starting to get better now, we're apart for a month (hes in the army) and we're being more normal with each other... i think he was overwhelmed too! I'm sorry for this long email, i think its a trait that comes along with my anxiety problem :p

Thanks for your help!!

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