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Sick and tired of being sick and tired. I was doing so well. I finally got back on my feet and beat my anxiety. Until, after I had my dear daughter. I ended up needing a d&c for retained placenta 8 weeks after she was born. The doctor preforated my uterus and small bowel. She sent me home in agonizing pain. I finally called 911 and they took me to the hospital and found the preforated uterus. Switched me to another hospital to be under my OB's care. The next morning they did exploratory surgery where they found out I had the preforated bowel. Ended up with getting a bowel resection, my uterus fixed, and my appendix out. OUCH. But since this, I have constant anxiety and fear that something else is going to go wrong. Especially now that I have my sweet daughter. I worry about dying and not being able to see her grow up.
I was driving to the store last week and had to turn around because I got so worked up I felt like I was dizzy. Its horrible. I do have panic disorder, and have been able to dodge the attacks, its just this anxiety. Its been 2 whole years. I have been on zoloft but the side effeccts are not tolerable at all. I am very ssri sensitive. I feel horrible, trapped and full of fear. I hate fear.
I just want to beat this fear..
Sorry I just needed to vent. No one else understands.

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