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If anyone can help me - please do. I am a mess - frantic, constant rolling severe panic attacks, can't sleep, can't eat (literally - i've lost so much weight in one month its downright scary), can barely leave my room, can't do anything. About a 5-6 weeks ago we started the adoption of a child - something I have wanted and wanted - but every week we got closer to the baby coming home I started to freak out more and more to the point my husband didn't think it would work (very understandably) and called it off. Since then (Monday) its only gotten worse as now I can't stop panicking about messing everything up and not having a child when before all I did was panick about not being able to handle a newborn and all the stress. I am on Lexapro (have been for years) but not sure that is working anymore but in the meantime my doctor prescribed xanax these past couple weeks. As part of my anxiety I'm such a hypochondriac I'm terrified of taking anything. I literally can barely get it down my throat and then if I do I freak out imaging all the bad things it is doing to me. For xanax first I thought it was causing my throat to swell and then after I got past that fear after a day or two I feel like it was making my heart pound about 15 minutes after I took it and I was in a cold sweat. Now they want me to try klonopin that I've literally been staring at for 3 hours now and can't take it. I'm a total mess. I know if I can't figure this out here they will soon want to hospitalize me which is a whole other terror induces thought for me. Please help. any advice is appreciated.

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