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Hi Remygeary, I can relate to your feeling concerning anxiety. It seems impossible to embrace something that appears to be occuring outside of you and about to destroy you and from which you're trying to escape. And that I suppose is the fundamental concept of acceptance: it's is not taking place outside of us; the anxiety is US, our feelings and fear, our emotions and it's locked right in the middle of our lives. I have suffered from Panic anxiety disorder and general anxiety for most of my long life. Getting through college was extremely difficult and teaching later on even harder. I managed by staying in therapy for almost all of my adult life. I used any number of drugs and all have helped at first, but within a few months they started to lose their effect and finally were useless. I was on beta blockers for palpitations and that helped me sleep much better and beta blockers stopped the palpitations cold! But these meds, like all the others, have awful side effects and when I developed a breathing problem I had to stop the BB. So, back to the dreams that bring on the anxiety and palpitations and wake me up with a racing heart, back to the fear of sudden death and so on and on.
Now at my age it can be anxiety or the end of the road. I'm old enough for that. I've broken it down like this. If the palpitation comes on during the day, very rare in my case, then I realize that it might be my heart. I've already discussed this with my cardiologist and he's said it's usually caused by a PVC and since I don't have heart disease, not to worry. I take him at his word and let the Irregular heart rate work itself out. So far so good. If the palpitations come during sleep, I immediately suspect anxiety and refuse to panic because I know that panic feeds anxiety, so I walk into it. Take some Xanax with a sweet juice and ride it out. It's not easy. We're very good at fooling ourselves and we're so used to reacting to the anxiety with panic that it's second nature to us. But believe me it works. I've been using xanax for twenty years so it's not very effective for me, but it does take off the edge a bit and that's enough. I tell myself I am the anxiety, the anxiety is me and I'm not afraid of me. I don't think about it either. I pick up a book, turn on the T.V. It's great if you have a friend you can call or a loved one you can talk to while the anxiety is going on. Better still, I go on line as I'm doing now and write to someone. This by itself will not stop the anxiety, but it will reduce its impact substantially. You have to win a few battles before this takes place, but once you take the anxiety into yourself it begins to lose its strength.

All the very best





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