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Hey all,

Since I was 21 I have suffered from panic attacks, however my panic attacks edged on to general anxiety attacks. I've always been very anxcious, worried, caring person. However they got worse. I noticed they really got worse after stress. I have deja-vu attacks, they absolutely are so scary whilst going through them but I couldn't even begin to tell you what they were afterwards. All i know its de ja vu images of maybe a dream i could of had or even a tv programme i could of watched, nothing significant. I've said to myself "next time try and write whats happening down", but I can't really function. According to my boyfriend when I've tried to speak I make no sense, and I have no idea what I've said. Once I managed to send a text to him but couldn't even begin to tell you what i text and trust me the only thing i remember is how long it took me to try to do it. At my previous job I'd be in meetings and would blank, and or go into a fluster of panic. I mainly just freeze, if I can I will try to be normal as a way not to feed the feeling on. I'd either keep very quiet about it and attempt to carry on or need to take deep breaths.

I may not remember something but I certainly feel edgy after, tight in my chest and petrified i'm going to have a another. Usually after one I know (because I am on edge) another will be around the corner. In a weird way sometimes I feel like I egg them on because I want to get to the bottom of it all.
Prime example of random... I was having a massage at a beauty salon this Saturday just gone and no idea why but I had one. If i suddenly think about them that can even trigger me off (almost as if im controlling them sometimes but often i'm really not) I felt so bizzare, It was a deja vu feeling again, my mouth becomes very watery, i swallow a lot and as gross as it sounds i drool sometimes or need to spit. So the bed was quite wet afterwards. I dont even really specifically remember the exact feeling just how uncomfortable it is.

I've explored loads of avenues for this, changed my entire lifestyle, so i exercise more, eat healthier, try and get some relaxing time to myself etc. I went down the road of maybe i had hidden feelings from when i was little so therefore thats what this deja vu was because of, but its not at all, I had the best childhood ever. I used to suffer from migraines when i was little but not now but my mum does, also my monthly cycle is never regular so i'm having tests to see if thats anything to do with it.

The feelings I get are sometimes are occuring during my sleep. For example if I wake up in the middle of the night and try to go back to sleep I can sometimes have one. I had one of those last night (I believe stems on from Saturdays attack) I tossed and turned with horrible feeling in my stomach and that deja vu feeling but I cant remember again)

What my question is, does this just sound like the anxiety term depersonalization or is it a partial seizure? I've been to the doctors so many times and got no help other than anti-depressant perscription... when i'm not depressed just frustrated that I dont know what this is.

What can I do? i'm 26 now and I cant keep living like this.

PLEASE please please help me. :confused:





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