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Anxiety Message Board

Anxiety Board Index
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Anxiety is the worst thing that ever took control of my life. I began having panic attacks and high levels of anxiety when i turned 11. There have been good periods of little anxiety and times of enormous anxiety since then. I have been on zoloft on and off over the years to control my anxiety. I hate my anxiety. My anxiety usually centers around death. If I'm nervous its because I fear I have a brain tumor, blood clot, internal bleeding, and the terrible list goes on. My fears usually begin at night when I'm trying to go to bed. It prevents me from sleeping a lot of the times. Lately my worry has been that a lack of sleep will kill me which in turn prevents me from going to sleep. I'm on zoloft and have Xanax ready at hand. However, I'm too damn afraid to take the Xanax(what if it has some adverse reaction?). I know none of this is logical. I wake up the next morning and realize how "silly" I was but at the time my rushing heart, crazed thoughts, and belief in some inevitable and terrible fate control me. Panic attacks happen infrequently but when they do everything is a million times worse. There have been times when I have felt like rushing to the emergency room if only so the doctors can calm my nerves. Its 6:00 in the morning and I can't sleep. Its just another night with my anxiety. Tomorrow I will feel fine and then tomorrow night the fear; the feelings of helplessness will return. I also have a beautiful amount of oCD to compliment my anxiety. That's a story for another time.

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