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Anxiety Message Board

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I have been a long time reader of these boards, and I have finally have the courage to post my issues and really look forward to all your replies.

First, I am a 25 year old non-smoking obese male. Other then obesity I am in good health. In April of this year I lost my mother to cancer. She was my rock, and my best friend throughout my life, and losing her was devastating. I was an only child and she raised me on her own. Before her passing, and really before her diagnosis (a year before her death) I was a happy and outgoing guy who really never worried about the small things in life. However, after her diagnosis, and really during that final month of her life, I really started to deteriorate health-wise. I would not eat right, and I suppose I was not drinking well either as I was diagnosed with Kidney Stones. However, for me, kidney stones was just the beginning of a rocky journey.

After my mother's passing, and my recent diagnosis of kidney stones I noticed that I was very sensitive to things going on with my body. All of a sudden I began hearing fizzing type noises in my neck (normally coinciding with rumbling noises in stomach), clicking noises in my ear when I walk, I would constantly clear my throat and/or bring up mucus, my head (and other parts of my body) would pulsate with my heart, chest pains, and constant cracking of neck/back when bending. I went to the doctor and gave her the full run down of all my symptoms. She diagnosed me with suffering from anxiety and prescribed me Lorazepam and told me to take it when I have these attacks. I have found that, at least for me, the Lorazepam really does not help me. I do like my doctor, she is very approachable and understanding.

Because of how my mother was diagnosed, I am extremely afraid that these symptoms are of a much bigger and more serious disease. I constantly think I have some type of Cancer, be it throat, sinus, lung, stomach, etc. Any little symptom I have I automatically think the worse and believe it is some sort of terminal illness. With all this anxiety, I have now begun getting twitches and tingling feelings throughout my body. Naturally I associate these twitches and tingles with some form of neurological disease or a brain tumor. My ability to sleep is really going down hill as well. I have also developed high blood pressure and am now on lisinopril and metoprolol. I used to be such a strong guy, who really could hold up others while they were suffering be it emotional or physical, but now I am the person who needs the comforting and the reassurance that I am okay. I would love to hear from all of you, especially if you have suffered through similar experiences and symptoms, that this is anxiety and that I will get through this.

I truly hate this constant worrying about my health. Constantly fearing that every little thing that happens to me is a symptom of a terrible disease. I used to be so happy and worry-free, and now I can't get through a single day without worrying about the smallest things. For example, today I had brought up some yellow mucus from my mouth with a tiny bit of blood (most likely the result of me picking my nose), and I automatically went to the internet and now believe I am suffering a symptom of sinus cancer or throat cancer. I am petrified to get any sort of imaging test done of my brain or neck as I believe it will show some sort of malignancy. I know this is extreme, but it is truly what I am dealing with. Any and all advice and reassurance will be most welcomed. Thank you for listening and reading my story.

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