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Anxiety Message Board

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I have been diagnosed with anxiety since 14, and its been six years of taking ssri and psychotropic, recently i couldnt see doctors so i stopped those meds and also have been taking high dosages of klonopin or ativan because ive switched.. i saw a neurologist as of late and couldnt even speak the situation right because of my past (read bio) so he thought i had migraines and prescirbed depakote 1000mg and i had to strop the second day because it cause my vision to get stronger(bright) and a realheadache..

my problem

(Anxiety wont leave, even with 2mg ativans , antihistmatines, boosters) etc
EXTTREMLYY sensnitive to light that im seeing blue greena nd yellow from its aura which hurts my head, and my ears feel like they have a q tip being jabbed.. and the medicine only stops the attack from being noticable whilst i still am having an attack inside, and rage and terror is building up in my mind, horrible nasty vivid thoughts and nightmares, cant sleep my sleep pattern is 2days, 6hrs rest, 2 days, so on.. been to e.r.s over 5x in 4 month.. psychotherapist wants met o stop all meds and take vistiril.. dont help anything, almsot forced to take the anxiety med but it donte ven work, so today as of right now i found risperdal and celexa and took 2mg risp, and 20mg celexa and it calm the terror just a bit ...i havent been able to feel genuine happiness, feel extremly lazy and cant do anything, but yet have 1000xxxx energy that keeps me up for over 48hrs everday icry out to my fiance, doctors and family and its not helping...i have to be calm at the dcotor my words dont come out right, doc says im having derealization but im aving it within the minutes over and over my brain has popped hundreds of times and face twitches.....i wanted to see neuro again and there saying to wait am month no main hospitals around here have a neurologist except the neorugslostgit testing floor which has to be sent by a neuro and i cant see one! im losing my relationship and destroyed my friendships 8 motnhs ago havent interacte withanyone else since...isolated everday its horrible to wake up feeling bruised and sweating, pulsating head , eye, ear sentisivety my body feels bruised taht is , i jus reacetnly got scabies that didnt help, im dying here and i just wish this could all go away.... dont have deep sleep, only feel when i wake up i been up but somehow few hours passed...snappy, i feel guilt/judgement with christiantiy because of my negative approach/anger towards the world...but i know i may be fooling myself..(ignore religion if you dont bleie0 i just dcant take this anymore, ive doen everythig smoeone refer me, ive me advic ehelp me!:mad:

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