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My story
Feb 28, 2012
Hello! Welll like most of you who read this, I suffer from anxiety. It sucks, anyways here is my story.

Since I was about 10, I have been a worrier, like when I was little I would worry, about my mom a lot because as a kid, I often times had to take care of her (alcoholic), whether Id put her to bed, or take her keys away when she wanted to drive and get more booze/cigarettes etc. I worried when she wouldnt come home until late at night, etc. She was a single mom, and my dad hasnt really ever been in the picture much. Anyways when I was 10, I started getting stomach aches, and they started a weekend I was at a tennis tournament. I played terribly cause for the weekend I had been in pain, and up for a good part of the night. After that weekend, I would start to feel sick often, which led to me basically refusing to go to school when it was at its worse. Anyways time passed, my family had decided to do an intervention with my mom, and then she went off to rehab in phoenix. For 2 months. My sister and I had moved in with our aunt and uncle who were the main initiators to getting my mom into rehab. The two months living with them, changed me. My stomach aches went away, and stayed away for a year and a half after that. Anyways, six months after my moms stint in rehab she began drinking again, and started drinking occasionally and very little, but after a couple months had gone by she had been back to her own self. My grandma lived with us, and she drank alot which is probably one of the reasons my mom had relapsed. Anyways i felt pretty good throughout 5th and sixth grade, besides being bullied a little in sixth grade... As time went by my moms drinking fluctuated, for a month she would pass out on the ground almost every night, and others she would drink little if anything. My uncle tried to get her back to rehab when he found out about her relapse, but she refused. In 7th grade my stomach wasnt terrible, but still bothered me occasionally. Moving on to 8th grade, it started of great, I had lots of friends and was doing well, but about March of 8th grade I had my first panic attack, which scared the crap out of me. That became a pattern in one of my classes, and by the end of 8th grade, I refused to go to school cause my stomach hurt and what not. I think my stomach aches triggered my panic attacks. So for ninth grade, I was homeschooled half of the year cause of my stomach/anxiety (I never have told anyone about having anxiety) and I got a procedure done to see if I had an ulcer, and I didnt. I remeber in fifth grade, I was diagnosed with mild acid refluxe, so thats why I got that procedure done. I remember the doctor telling my mom it was in my head, blah blah blah and when my mom asked me I told her it wasnt and what not. anyways I returned to school freshmen year, and it was fine in the beginning, but towards the end my anxiety got pretty bad. Ofcourse summer I felt fine, and then sophomore year I felt a little better, but again anxiety started up towards the end. Now junior year was my best year by far, I got great grades, my attendance was good, and I took the sat and ap tests with very little, if any anxiety. Now fast forwarding to senior year, it started out great, but then october came around and I was taking the sat for the last time... And when I got there, I felt nauseous, and had a panic attack in the beginning of the test, and ended up leaving (which was embarassing) progressively, my anxiety has gotten worse, and has fluctuated. I have prayed, done everything, etc but it hasnt gone away. Im starting to get anxiety in the shower, when I drive , in class etc. Im scared of what people think of me, I think thats why I have all of this anxiety. I have friends, but I wouldnt feel comfortable telling them. My friends just think I am missing school because of "senioritis" which has been my excuse. Im sick of getting panic attacks, and missing so much school, its annoying how its such a battle to go to school when for alot of other people it is so simple. Im also sick of feeling bad about myself for not going to school and what not. I know I need to see a therapist or psychiatrist, but I dont have the money, and dont wanna ask my parents, I know that shows how great my relationship is with them haha. I would really appreciate some advice.

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