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Anxiety Message Board

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So I guess I have been dealing with anxiety since about age 20 which interestingly is aroudn the same time I was diagnosed with hypertension. Im now 23 and I take my blood pressure 50-100 times a day. I still don't think it is properly controlled as sometimes it is below 140/90 and other times it is above. In the doctors office/pharmacy it is always pretty high "150-155/80-90". I get really scared about taking it however I can't stop myself. I think about it all the time as I dont want to die young from a heart attack.

I take 25 mg hydrochlorothiazide currently, my doctor actually took my off the original medications I was taking which were too numerous to mention. She kept saying "white coat hypertension" but I experience high readings at home too, although I can't decide if it's anxiety or blood pressure. Now that doctor is gone and I know my next appointment will be with the initial doctor who diagnosed me. He doesn't really believe in anxiety causing spikes and I have a bad relationship with him because he gave me 100mg of a drug to control blood pressure that is literally reserved for patients with extremely high readings.

I was very sick and even became suicidal on this new drug, so I went to the secondary doctor "Who believe my blood pressure is entirely anxiety related" but I just don't believe her.

I have worried about a ton of different things, i'll list just a few of the fears.

1. Hiv, Lung Cancer, Colon Cancer, Stomach Cancer, ALS, MS, Brain Tumor all tests have been negative. I also had some EKG's and Echocardiograms to check for damage with the hypertension that came back fine.

I'm really really scared all day. When I get ready to take my pressure my heart starts pounding and I just get extremely nervous and worried. Ive managed to relax enough at the pharmacy to get low readings 130/80 but perhaps I wasn't waiting long enough between them, or the machine simply read low. At this point is is all I can think about, I literally wake up crying and with a pounding heart afraid to get out of bed.

My psychologist and doctor both told me to stop checking my blood pressure, but what the hell do they want me to die of a stroke or heart attack!?

I don't get to see my new doctor until the 27th, im really scared I am going to die before then. I also have tachycardia that strikes randomly with the blood pressure spikes, it lasts about 30 minutes to an hour and it just terrifies me "Not sure if this is a panic attack". I used to suffer from panic attacks too, but now it seems that it's simply chronic anxiety that keeps me worried all day.

Is this anxiety? Is this HBP? Do I have a long time to live and do I have to worry about dying in the next few months/years? Does anyone else deal with this sort of thing?

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