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Help with anxiety
May 10, 2012
Hi

i posted in the MS forum yesterday with regards to the problems i am going through and received some really kind words and advice from msjayhawk and msnik so thought i should write here incase anybody has ever gone through what i have now and can help me or guide me in what i should do

This is what i wrote

"I was previously very anti going to the doctor but decided i wanted to try change that and ensure my health was good and try to lift all of these worries from my shoulders. So I firstly went to a Sexual health clinic as i was having worries about that and after giving me a blood test I convinced myself i had HIV read up all about it and got myself into a frenzy of worry and feeling sick that I phoned them up crying of fear that i hadnít had my results which then came back negative on all fronts which was a relief although i still for a day or 2 convinced myself they may of got it wrong or looked at the wrong patient. So next I went to the Doctor about my stomach which was the start of all my worries where he gave me tablets but didnít want to talk about any other issues like the eye and lightheaded and vertigo problems that i had recently experienced as we only had a 10 minute appointment so I took my course while in the mean time I was having constant tiredness and stiff necks and also a fear of social places where i would become extra lightheaded that would affect me for days on end. I then did what everybody now says you shouldnít and started researching my problems I first told myself I had Bowel Cancer but thatís been put to 1 side then i started having a ringing ear from loud music and alongside my blurry eye (which probably wasnít blurry) and my muscles on the left side of the face feeling tense I convinced myself I had a brain tumour again I have put that to 1 side for now but then in the back of my mind i had been looking at MS and a lot of my symptoms matched to that. I also started thinking about the past and always seem to get injuries easily and also my muscles take forever to recover when I go to the gym and made me wonder if this is something I could of had for years i am now scaring myself every day of my life. I went back to my doctor and told him a few of the problems but he said it was all in my head and i could either take a course of Anti-depressants or go away from there and live my life and not stress over things that happen to everybody but people like myself spend periods of time worrying and stressing over them i went away from there and for a few days did feel better and i relaxed and didnít stress over things then the week later i was in a shopping centre and i started to feel lightheaded again and all of a sudden i was back to square 1 again researching and now i have convinced myself that i have MS and have thought through the years how many things match up i even yesterday started having a numb tingly feeling in my right leg after during the day reading how that was a sign. This was the first time i have had any affect on my right side of my body as previously it has always been my left side that i have had problems with leg my hand bones feeling stiff my left eye my left ear and everything else. I also have become very itchy and seem to have skin issues when i itch i come up in little lumps and a long line wherever it is ive scratched i also get really red just from the smallest of touches.

To be honest in the back of my head i know that it is probably all in my head but i just dont get how all these things can happen just from thinking it surely there has to be a reason behind it i feel stupid talking to people or going to the doctor again and just dont know what i should do im scared i dont want to be like this or have these problems anymore i just want to live a normal life sorry if this doesnít make sense or is long winded i have just written down what is on my mind at the time.

I know i probably sound stupid but dont really know where to go anymore i also had blood spots at 1 point and thought i had leukimia the doctor checked and said they are very normal and again its just your anxiety"

I really have in the back of my mind convicned myself i have MS although chances are i dont and its all in my head i am just struggling to come to terms that anxiety can really cause all these issues and ive been going back over my life to think of how weak my muscles are sometimes and when i had dizzy spells or other problems to think well its all MS. I just want to overcome this the thread is called Dont kno where to turn if you want to read over what has been said there. Im in London so maybe somebody may know of somewhere good i can go as my doctor will just offer me Anti-Depressants but for me thats not something i feel would work.
"





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