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Hi everyone.

I have found relating to peoples stories and reading about other people's life situations helps me, so I figured I would share mine and see if there is any good advice for my situation and/or if someone went or is going through the same thing.

I am 21 years old. I have extreme anxiety and I have been through so much.

My brother got married last year to a girl I do NOT get along with. I was not even included in my own brothers wedding and ever since last year in August, things just went down hill. I would constantly build up my feelings inside and hide them from everyone.

One day, I literally felt like I had lost my feelings towards everyone and became numb.

I have a boyfriend of three years (almost four) and I just felt like so different towards him. I don't know why I felt/feel this way, but it is overbearing and I know I love him because I have days when I can't get enough of him and then days when I am like... "What is wrong with me?" I cry and just don't understand why I am feeling that way. It is like I have no love at all towards him or anyone else.

When that happened, I knew I had to do something about this, so in December 2011, I went to my doctor and he put me on a low dose of Lexapro. Eventually, I felt so much better and I was crying a whole lot less! I started gaining weight and I kind of put other side effects into my head and I think I might have been over-reacting a little bit, but I would think that I had every single side effect to the point where I was like this isn't worth it.

I thought I was very happy and wanted to see how I could do without the medication. In June 2012, I slowly weened off of it and it has been about a month off of it. I have extreme anxiety again (withdrawal symptoms?) and these losing of feelings are here again. I don't understand and I feel like I am back to where I started. I don't know if this is just part of withdrawal and with time, it will get better. I love my boyfriend and I know I do, but I don't know why I feel this way. I never want to lose him. He is truly an amazing, respectful man that you don't often come by.

Another example is, I am going on vacation with him next week and I am so excited, but already worrying that when I get home, he will not love me or things will be different. Its like I put imagination into reality and its always almost negative things!

Also, I am not sure if this is part of anxiety, but if I think about something or someone tells me something, I over-analyze it in my head and believe it! I feel literally crazy sometimes.

I am slowly trying to deal with family issues (starting with my sister-in-law that I do NOT get along with that has made me hate being around my family). Maybe that is the root of my anxiety and just all these other things are different factors of anxiety. I am not sure.

Any help would be appreciated and if anyone is going through what I am going through, hang in there. I know it is hard, but we will get through this.

:)

Thank you all for reading this and taking the time to respond.





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