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Hello, this is my first post at this forum and i would like to explain my situation to you guys. I am 25 year old male and i live for three months now in a tiny city of Albania were i feel very lonely because i have no friends here at all. I left Albania when I was 9 years old and moved to Greece with my family. My life was good until the age of 17 when i started to become depressive, because of my depression i lost my friends all one by one and my girlfriend too. Because i couldnt handle this anymore i decided to leave Greece and move to UK a year after. In UK life changed, I was very social, made a lot of friends and generaly I was enjoying myself a lot there but because i was on a student visa my life there was very short, 8 months later i arrived back in Albania were i hadnt been for more than 10 years. The depression came back to me. I did not want to see anybody, i would stay in my house going out only for shopping, I spent the first 6 months all by myself in my house here. No friends no girlfriends. I decided to move to another small town of Albania called Saranda and study English language at the university and so i did but since the first day that i entered the university i started to develop a lot of anxiety problems and a swalloing obssesion, a feel of need to swallow all the time and if i wouldnt swallow then i would have throat spasms. this swalloing problem is destroying me. I am not quite sure if its the swalloing that causes me so much depresion now or is the depresion that causes the swalloing. Anyway somehow i managed to finish my studies there and i came back to my city of birth with the hope to find a job. This is a very small city with a population of only 10.000 people and i have no friends here at all. But here happened something very nice to me.. I met a girl and we've been hanging out for two months now and i think that i am in love with her. Everything was going perfectly i was very happy and always in good mood when around her.. i would make jokes and be very talkative, i almost forgot all of my problems the anxiety and the depresion and the swalloing thing was not there anymore but suddenly i woke up one day dull of bad thoughts like i dont deserve to have a girlfriend and she deserves better than me and that i may pass my depresion and anxiety to her and that she may become depresive too... Those thoughts are affecting the relationship a lot, i can not be happy around her anymore and although she always tries to make me smile i can not. I am very depresed sometimes even without a reason at all. I dont know what to do she definety liked me but now i am not sure if she likes me anymore with all my depresion and anxiety. What can i do? I cut myself prvious night but not enough to kill myself. I love her and i dont want to loose her but i am not sure if i can control my mood and if i dont do it i am sure i will loose her. Any advice ?





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