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For as long as I can remember i have had some anxiety. I am a very anxious and restless person in general but the episodes would only last a few minutes, a few times a day. It started when i was about 12 that i was concerned with dying and i felt like i couldn't breathe right. It all started when I had a flu. However I remember that after a few bad days, it went away on its own.

Ever since that i would get these anxious feelings or have trouble taking a deep breath but i would always be able to calm myself down and it would just go away for a while.

Lately however, the breathing problems have grown worse. I struggle to take a deep breath all the time and on good days i am able to achieve this by yawning or constant burping.

This week however something terrible happened. I was having an episode and i felt very sick, like i was really going to die this time. My hands were going numb and it seemed no matter what i did i couldnt take a deep breath. My feet started to go numb after so I told my mom to rush me to the Emergency Room. When i got there they told me my oxygen levels were fine and they also did an EKG and said my heart was perfect. They didnt seem too phased even though i was convinced i was dying that night. After 3 hours i still hadn't calmed down and they finally offered the lowest dosage of xanax. It was my first time taking any type of meds for anxiety and it did make me calmer, slowed down my heart rate and made me shake my legs less. However it seemed that the breathing problem was still there. I was constantly thinking about my breathing and no matter how hard i tried not to it wouldnt go away.

I come home and the past 2 days have been PURE HELL. My breathing issue seems to always be there no matter what i do. I practice my breathing, i drink hot water with a hint of honey. I watched a show, i tried a relaxation tape, i tried to read, talk to people....e.t.c Im literally losing my mind and no matter how many times i convince myself its anxiety it doesnt seem to make it any better.

Please help me i am feeling miserable, and i am at a point where i am hopeless, thinking im either going to die or that i may as well die to be set free from all these feelings. I been taking xanax in the morning because after the three hours of sleep i manage to get i wake up feeling like im having a heart attack. My throat constantly feels tight and the breathing gets worse. The xanax doesnt seem to be doing much.

I took one last night and it didnt help at all. I suffered with severe attacks from 6 pm to 3 am when i finally by miracle was able to drift off. Also i am overweight and had been on a diet 2 days prior to this. Now after these feelings my diet has become very easy to maintain and not in a good way. I have lost my appetite completely. I eat only because i have to before taking the xanax. I eat steamed chicken with veggies and drink apple juice and orange juice. i also feel discomfort in my stomach, very gassy and i would have to burp a lot. I dont know if thats from anxiety or what....

I dont know if this is just anxiety either, it doesnt seem to subside. idk what the hell to do.

i cant laugh or smile, i feel like the whole world is a giant black cloud and im stuck in it.

Please HELP ME.
Btw, im going to the doctor soon for some blood work in case i have thyroid problems or what not. I really cannot live like this, 2 days and im already losing my mind.

I go back to college soon after a month off and honestly i am scared of how im going to travel there for an hour or even sit in class.





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