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I tell you it was a hell of a trip thats for sure.

You are so right about getting our brains to belive it but I can tell you one thing that helps a lot and I mean a lot is most of this stuff I think is self learned habits the way we think and if you can find a way to blow one of them fixing to be attacks off by self talking to yourself telling your self this is not real and or just say STOP REAL LOUD TO YOURSELF anything that you can find to put a halt to it and then work on it you will see it helps a lot and you can go from there.

I can remember years and years ago when I was driving from Houston to my home town that was 150 miles away I would be going down the road and the thoughts would be trying to get in the panic or what ever you want to call it and I would be telling myself "I DONT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKIN ABOUT " this seemed to help me a lot as the long road went on and on with the Big A and the Panic.

Then it went from sayin that to myself to just plain out saying STOP and this was way way way way before now when you see these post on these boards sayin that you can say stop and it seems to help I have known that for years.

I guess the worst thing for me out of all these years of this stuff that I really no longer have much at all if any but the worst thing I guess for me was getting home bound at one time lord have mercy man I got to were I couldnt go to town I got to were it was on my mind twenty four seven and I had the unreal feelings so damn bad it was worse than pitfull and I was really never home bound like that before but this all came here about two years ago and this is when my Alligeries and Sinus was so baddddddd baddddd terriable and I have allways had ear trouble all my life specially when I was a kid but not so much till two years ago but I think there is a somewhat connection to this stuff and the ears some way some how cause I was terriable just plain A$$ terriable.

I fought and I fought and then I seen Claire Weekes books and I thought what the hex and I bought them and I got the tapes too and I listen to them didnt seem like much at first but I tried to apply them and with in the first week I was finaly finaly outa my house and driving 5 miles to town by myself and belive me you it was pure H e double L !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The unrealty feelings was awfull, it was no words to decribe it is all i can say. But Determination kept me going and one day lead to another and another and then one day I was in town and I looked up and thought what the hell is going on Iam in town I havent even thought about the panic and I finaly felt like my old self and I tell you what it was such a strange strange feeling that it nearly thru me into a panic attack right there thats how weird it felt to feel normal again !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway now Iam fine again but man o man what a dog fight it was!

I tell you Claire Weekes said that the worst attack would come right before you might just be getting over the hill and well again and brother she was right!

Now I am not Doctor but I got twenty years of painfull experince that qualifiys me for some opinion on this stuff a Veteran thats for damn sure.

But the Physcal feelings left me all the heart beating fast, the tingling hands feet, the dizziness, all the ackes and pains of the physcal body left me no more symptoms towards them and then BAM!

IT ALLWAYS TRYS TO SNEAK BACK IN! LISTEN TO THIS.

Now after all of this all these years and years of all these physcal symptoms and they were finaly gone this is what happened!

The day of the 9-11 Attack!

Well woke up to the phones ringing and ringing off the wall got freinds from all over the world and one of my buddys from Holland was calling anyway the phone was ringing off the hook and I told my wife something is up this aint right all these calls so finaly I got up out of bed and got the phone.

My Buddy from Holland was calling and he was screaming YALL ARE UNDER ATTACK YALL ARE UNDER ATTACK AND NOW IAM still half asleep and he is screaming TURN ON YOU TV TURN ON YOUR TV, Iam say what in the hell is wrong with you man are you crazy so I turned on the Tv well guess what!

Soon as I turned it on, BOOM the second Plane was headed for the second tower and I thought O my God!!!!

I set there and watch that for a min and I said what the hell is going on and he explained it as I watch the plane going into the building.

WEll IT scared the living hell out of me and he hung up and I was just sitting there in disbelife watching and watching and the Big A was dang sure trying to flare up then man o man I thought what the hex, I couldnt belive my eyes so after watching this for about two hours listen to what happend to me and how the old big A and panic has all differnt ways of trying to get in even when you are healed of it.

Well I was sitting there and fighting the Big A. which I hadnt had in a long long while and I was sittin there in disbelife of all this junk and I started to listen to every word of what the man was saying and I mean listning to every word he was saying and then all the sudden here comes the Big A in a differnt disquise,
was sitting there and the next thing I knew I was listening to the words and I got to thinking how do we understand words how do I understand what he is saying hahahahahahahahahaahhahahahahahaah and the next thing I knew I was trying to define every damn word this man was saying it was like he was talking but couldnt understand him but I understood every word he was saying hahahahahahahahahahah boy you talk about scare the hell out of somebody I thought what is going on and I got up and man o man, I didnt knwo what just happened so needless to say after all these years of the physcal symptoms something like this hits and I thought I was going crazy or had had a stroke or soemthing hahahaahhaahahahahh but from that day on I was bad for a while but I would listen to words instead of full whole length sentances and man you talk about dirve you nuts and so the search was on again after all these years of healing myself from the physcal symptoms o man here we go you know how we are.

Search search and more search, finaly one day I posted on the MSN board and this lady Claire anwsered me and she hit the nail ON THE HEAD BEFORE I COULD EVER EVEN TELL HER WHAT HAD HAPPENED JUST ASK WHAT WOULD MAKE A PERSON DO THIS, now from what I understand she has some degrees in the medical feilds but any way she hit the nail on the head she said sounds like to me something traumatized me and for me to explain in greater detail just what i was doing and how it happened. So I did and Bam she anwsered my question to a TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT.

She told me that what I had just seen was so unbelivable and so terriable that my mind shut out what the man was sayin on tv kinda like haveing my fingers stuck in my ears tryin to listen to him hahahaa
ahahhahahahh or me watching this but backing away at the same time and that I felt helpless that I couldnt help. WEll here I will let yall read her reply!

AFTER READING HER POST AND HER HITTING THE NAIL ON THE HEAD IT BROUGHT SOME GREAT RELIF TO MYSELF AND ALL I CAN SAY IS IT SURE HELPED ME AND AFTER THIS I WAS FINE, I STILL SOMETIMES GET TO LISTENING TO WORDS AND STUFF BUT IT IS NOTING LIKE BEFORE THIS LADY ALL BUT HEALED ME WHEN I WAS IN DESPERATE NEED OF ANWSERS. THIS WAS THE HARDEST PART OF MY BIG A IN 20 YEARS OF SUFFERING GETTING OVER THIS AND I MUST HAVE A THING FOR WOMEN NAMED CLAIRE CAUSE THIS CLAIRE WAS ON MSN BOARD AND THE OTHER CLAIRE IS THE ONE THAT WROTE THE BOOK DR CLAIRE WEEKES AHAHHAHAAHAHHAAHAHHAHH WITH OUT THEM LORD HAVE MERCY I DONT EVEN WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT HAHAHAHAHAHAHHHA THIS IS LONG BUT IT SHOWS JUST HOW THIS **** WORKS! HERE BELOW IS WHAT I POSTED AND WHAT SHE RESPONDED WITH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOOD LUCK

Analizing
by katdog2 (MSN), on 2/8/2003 11:20:36 PM

Anybody ever have a problam analizing words. Like when some one is talkin like on tv you are listening to the words rather than the full sentances. I mean like asking yourself what does this word mean and that word mean, hell you think you cant understand them but understand the whole confersation. Really werid. I myself am over panic dont have a problam with it at all no more after 20 years the scare is just not there no more guess I finaly said enought is enoguht but I was sitting watching the news one day and started to listening to words rather than sentances and got to thinking how do we understand what is being said, I know stupid but has anybody done this before, if so please let me know so i can blow this thing off cause i know it is just another symptom of anixenty but damn. I know soon as i quit thinking about it iam fine like when the phone rings and i get into a good confersation or some body comes to the door and i get intrested or i just go somwere it all ends but when thinking about it listening to the tv will damn near drive you nuts hahaha thanks yall.........


by Claire89 (WebMD)
Hi Katdog...Let's see what's going on here. You were watching tv and all of a sudden you started hearing sounds without meaning in the words. It sounds like you were actually pulling away from any meaning because what was on tv was frightening you. It doesn't mean you are going into an old pattern that you have gotten under control. It just means something frightened you. Another way of describing your experience is to say you were putting your fingers in your ears and backing away from the tv because you couldn't stand to hear what was being said. It was simply too much to tolerate. It's the body's way of defending against frightening things. Tell me exactly what it was you were watching when it happened?

There are a lot of frightening things going on right now that are being talked about on tv. Is it this or something else?

- Claire


by Claire89 (WebMD), on 2/9/2003 3:44:14 PM

Dear Katdog,

You have seen a lot of violence in your day being in law enforcement. You have heard a lot of stories about violent people doing really bad things to others. But you know...you get to keep those people and events under control. You get to see them behind bars where they won't hurt anyone...including hurting you. You have other officers and the entire system helping with this and all of you control people doing bad things to others. When things get out of hand, you and your fellow officers get things under control and bring order back to your community again. You know how to do this. Finally you can see who is causing the trouble, touch them. You know them by name, you can control them in most instances.

Let's look at the contrast with 9/11. There you were just awakened from sleep, watching something unimaginable happening and totally unexpected. I would imagine you felt extremely anxious because here was a situation that was an act of violence that you might not have seen before, you couldn't see the bad guys, and there was no way in the world you could control it. It wasn't happening in the prison yard or in your community. There was an enemy of a different kind this time.

What you experienced Katdog was totally normal. For a person in your line of work, it's understandable why it made you more anxious. It was not something you or anyone could control. This 9/11 event has been with you ever since that day. These experiences stay with us because they are frightening.

With the news as it is these days, those fears you have experienced on 9/11 are going to surface again. That is perfectly normal.

How do you get over the generalized anxiety? There are a few things to remember about this Katdog. These world events are beyond your control. There are things that frighten us beyond any kind of fear we have felt before. You have to let the fear happen because it's suppose to. It's normal and 100% part of living in a complex world. However, fear isn't all there is to life, and we lose sight of this fact sometimes when we feel afraid. Knowing this is the key to maintaining a healthy balance.

How to minimize the fear? I'll tell you what I do. I'm afraid about this too and feel overwhelmed by what's happening when I am exposed to the news too much. I have made a couple of decisions. I don't watch the news on tv. I don't watch programs with violence. I keep informed on a need-to-know basis only. Just the minimum. I will talk about it with my friends only for as long as I feel I can tolerate it and no longer. Secondly, I have decided that I don't know what tomorrow or next week is going to bring and so I make absolutely sure that today is a day I live my life as usual. I don't put on hold anything that I would normally do during my day because I'm worried about the world events or the economy. I make sure that I do my work well, that I prepare my once a week elegant meal for my family and I do everything with a focus concentrated on the moment and with a grateful heart. I'm so lucky to be living and doing what I'm doing right now and I don't want to mess it up by being afraid of tomorrow. Because if I did, I would be taking away today...depriving myself of what I already have. I choose that living fully is what I can do, it's something I have control over, and it's something that gives me peace. I don't do anything more than I would ordinarily do like over-compensate for my fears because that would only add to my fear. I just do my living as usual and am glad to be doing it...even the things that aren't so pleasant. I focus on business as usual.

Get up in the morning Katdog, eat your breakfast, get ready for work, keep the guys doing bad things to others in line, come home and pet your dog or cat if you have a pet, do your grocery shopping, visit friends, go for walks, and do all the things that are about living.

Acknowledge that these world events frighten you, give yourself permission to feel afraid, and choose to focus on living and things that are under your control rather than on things out there that are beyond your control. There are always things in life that are beyond our control. It's part of a balanced life to learn how to live with uncontrollable experiences and to adapt to them.

Is it a nice day where you are in Texas today? Go out and be in it and be glad.

- Claire







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