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What is this?
Jul 9, 2003
Hi there, i am 22 yr old, dont know where to start but here goes, this will be long but please read and help me out.. thankyou so much in advance...

Ok Ok, 4 years ago i met a man and we dated, i done aloads of drugs etc, then i got pregnant, stopped all drugs except pot, i left him he dont have nothing to do with my girl or me, when my daughter was born i was still smoking pot and went nightclubbing with my m8s, then a year after my daughter was born my m8s got married, left town etc so i was suddenly on my own, i was a bit depressed so i started effexor 35mg in october it done wonders i met new freinds etc, then in december for a xmas party i went to a nightclub with my new m8s they were all on extasy BUT i didnt want to take any hard drugs again so instead i abused my effexor to feel high i must of taking about 4 x 35mg's, i was also smoking weed that night too, i was dancing then suddenly i came over all funny and my legs turnt to jelly, i couldnt eat a thing felt as if i was on extasy i was terrifed, i went home and was feeling like this for ages, any how i stayed with my mum for a few weeks i stopped the effexor straightaway, and was experiencing severe brainshocks, dizzyness and lightheaded for mnths and mnths still do (3 yrs on) any how i was able to drink and still smoke pot, then when i would smoke pot araond people i would get all nervous, shake and tremble and get sick (bad) so i stopped smoking pot altogether, then a yr on after all this boxing night it was night after xmas i had my very first migrane and a panick attack,i put it down to drinking xmas day so i stopped drinking and to this day havent touched a drop, i was really bad i was given 2mg valuim, which did help to calm me down, but then one night i was in that much of a bad state valuim didnt work not even 10mg of it, if anything it made me worse so back to the doctors and was given cipramil (celexa) 10mg and was taking it, felt it working mind, but it stopped me thinking of what to wear etc, coulnt make my mind up etc, and i missed a few doses when i took it again i had the BIGGEST ever panick attack i was rushed into hospital with blood preasure 210/170 pulse was 248/60 was very bad was injected with stuff to slow my pulse and injected with something else, so anyways then i was given prothiaden (trylic) i had a panick reaction made me to sleepy etc, then trazadone (trylic) same thing happened then beta blocka. i didnt take it was to worried about being lightheaded as it drops your blood prasure and by this time my blood preasure was back to normal 110/80, didnt want to feel weird, then the doctor refered me to a phsyciatrist last year and i was given lustral (zoloft) it did work for my obsessional thoughts (paranoid that people are spiking me with drugs, forever opening new bottles of milk etc, even paranoid about drugs in my food by my own mother) it also was good for my panick attacks etc, i was taking this from november last year till february and went to doctor and my heart rate was to high so he took me of them and put me back on trazadone which did the same thing to me as before, i went back to the phsycatrist for a reveiw and she just signed me of and sent me to anxiety managment, now 3 weeks ago i went to see another doctor the doctor who prescribed me with effexor in the first place and he gave me a snri to try called reboxetine it hasnt been approved by the fda in the us but he gave it to me to try, what i have been reading up on it, it affects the norphadine brain chemincal which is for severly depressed people it does something to your moivation BUT i dont need that as i am forever cleaning etc.. so i wont take it, i am worried as i am to high as it is sometimes and then i freak out cus i panick that people have put drugs into something somehow, i just dont know what the matter with me is? i have severe anxiety i am constantly worrying mostly about my health, the litlest thing wrong with me i am freaking when i had my first migrane i had an mri which was normal, when i was getting those brain shocks i had an eeg which was normal all last year, then yesterday i went for another eeg and i had a panick attack doing the deep breathing so we had to stop, but they will compare to my last one, also i am so paranoid, i have constant brain fog, i dont recognize myself sometimes, its as if i am in a constant dream, sometimes when i am drifting of to sleep, which i dont have no probs with sleep i sometimes here voices not all the time, few nights ago i heared ''the job is done'' clearly as if someone was stood talking to me, then that was all, but that has played on my mind, i alsp remember when i was a kid i used to mitch of school and go to my m8s house and go to sleep and as i was g oing to sleep i would hear a voice then and my body was asleep BUT my mind was awake and i couldnt move i was paralyzed, and i couldnt breath, also when i am walking about i get paranoid that people are out to get me, like if someone sneezes and looks at someone its as if they are given signs to eachother, o i know its stupid, like now i feel so weird its unberlievabe, i dont feel good mentally at all, i am getting terrible visions also that someone is going to comeinto my back door and kill me, i hear a fire range which isnt far from my town and it scares me, i am so jumpy, i cant go out havent been able to go to night clubs, bingo, pubs, peoples houses etc for about 2 years, i can gointo a shop but quicky, and i am able to bring my daughter and pick up my daughter from school, BUt even then i feel funny, and basicly at my wits end. any help please? what shall i do? I feel like i am going crazy, loosing my mind.

Sorry for being so long but i have told you everything.

Thankyou so much for reading


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dipps





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