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Hello all. First of all I would like to thank all of you for sharing your stories, it really does help to hear that I'm not the only one going through this. I am 24/f, and I have had soc.anx.dis. for approx. 4 years. But I've had depression and PTSD for my whole life. My birth mom was very abusive and sick. She did some very disgusting things to me...not real sure if I should speak of them, but then I was adopted, then adopted by another family, life has never been good. Abuse seems to follow me wherever I go. But anyway, a few years ago, I started feeling really dizzy and scared, of everything. Couldn't even leave the house, or talk to my own fiance. I had just had my daughter, and it was rough. I resorted to drinking to calm myself. But that only led to more disaster. So I saw a doc who put me on Paxil, I hated it! So I got off that and started Zoloft, it didn't do anything. So for 2 years I stayed off meds, and suffered. And I'm sure all around me did too. Recently I went to the er because I couln't breathe and my chest hurt horribly. It was mighty embarassing to find out it was a panic attack. So they gave me Trazadone, first off they gave me 100mg's. I passed out and almost fell down the stairs. So I flushed them. So I went to see a psychiatrist today and she gave me Lexapro. I really hope this works, so far I feel ok. But I know it takes a while to kick in. I am just so sick of feeling not normal(whatever that is). I want to be rid of these diseases so bad. I feel like the last 24 years has been a complete waste. I feel I am a strong person, but I am truely tired of this. I am literally exhausted from trying so hard everyday, to seem normal. I hate being scared to walk into a quiet room with people in it, because I never know what they are thinking. Not that it should matter, right? But, as you all know, you can't help it. I am sick of being scared to talk, worried that I will say something stupied, or look like an idiot. I hate feeling dizzy and shaking and sweating for no reason. And I really hate having such a short temper, not able to deal with everyday life due to having used all my strength dealing with my problem. Well, I want to thank you all again, especially for listening or reading my rambeling. It just feels good sometimes to get it out.

Sincerely, Lori





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