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Good evening everyone,

I'm new here and am coming here to find a support system for something I've been struggling with for more than a decade: anxiety & depression. I'm sorry in advance for the (what will be) long novel ahead...

About 10 years ago: I was also working crazy hours (overnights, flex shifts, etc) and due to lack of sleep (and attempting sleep at crazy hours) I developed depression & anxiety. I was essentially jet-lagged for 5 years...

Over the past 10 years (3 during the above mentioned time period, and the rest since) I have been on and off of medications with mixed results. Here are some examples:

Lexapro: I was a total zombie. You could punch me in the face and I wouldn't care. I also had zero interest in sex (nor could I have it, even if I wanted to). Coming off of it was a nightmare of brain zaps and lightheadedness.

Cymbalta: Had fairly good results. Some sexual issues, but not nearly as much as Lexapro. The medicine, however, was extremely expensive, and became unaffordable for me as there was no generic available.

Effexor: Tried it and had a terrible reaction to it. Within hours it gave me flu like symptoms that lasted until the pill wore off. The DX took me off it immediately.

Lastly (about a year ago) I was put on Wellbutrin XL (300mg). It's worked somewhat: at times I was back to old-self, stopped worrying & ruminating, had no sexual issues (may have even made me more active), it was perfect! However, over time I became much more hot headed (almost like everything was a fight or flight situation). I found myself losing my temper more often then I ever had in the past.

That being said, my doc lowered my dose to 150 (for the past 2 months). While my temper was better, things just haven't been the same since. The rumination and worrying returned, and beyond that I've fallen deeper into a hopeless pit of "am I EVER going to figure this out?!" So my brain is constantly thinking about my anxiety, thus fueling more anxiety. It's a horrible endless loop. Working out 5x a week helped this slightly (for brief periods of relief) but the past two months have really been my lowest.

I finally got to a point that I decided that maybe talking to a new DX would be the best bet. After a long sit down (almost an hour - longer than I've ever had at any GP), they suggested adding a low dose of Prozac with the Wellbutrin. The DX I'm dealing with does not like to medicate just for the sake of it, and wants to keep me on the lowest possible effective dose for my situation (which I am very welcoming to!)

I am using this combination now (on day 4). I started the Prozac on a VERY light (5mg) dose. So far, I'm bouncing between uneasy / worried and calm. I also noticed that I had some slight sexual issues (but everything is still functioning, so this might actually be a "good" thing IF it doesn't worsen).

However, I'm now extremely nervous to dose up to 10mg or 20mg for the fear that the things I just mentioned above would escalate greatly (or, like the sexual side-effects of Lexapro, just become non-existent).

The DX did say if there were any issues, they could bring me back up to 300 on the Wellbutrin -- and that the side effects of each (Prozac / Wellbutrin) would be much less because they would work together on the different target areas (and help to lessen each other's side effects). They also explained that this is a very effective combo. I would like to know if anyone has any experience with this, and what they've dealt with.

In the end: I'm turning to this site because I'm afraid to talk to people I know about this, because, for the past decade, anytime I try to open up to someone about my anxiety or I hear the following: "just relax" "lighten up" or my favorite "You think YOU'VE got it bad...."

I really don't feel like I have many people who I can relate to me, and if they do, they're simply hiding behind a wall of ego to actually open up and discuss things with me like an adult....

I'm at wits end here, and that's why I'm find people who've been where I am, and who have found their way out of this hell, and to a place of happiness and levelheadedness. I hope I'm not alone in this one...

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