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Back Problems Message Board


Back Problems Board Index


QC:

Thank you for your kindness and continued support.

I sure wish we were neighbors. While crying doesn't solve a thing, I'd much rather share a good one with someone who truly understands, this crying alone is getting old.

and yes, the ability to work at home is such a blessing and indeed a bright spot in all of this. I know it will help me a lot emotionally (hard to go to the ofc and deal with clients and sound cheerful etc...when your so consumed with pain, meds & worry that being smiley, friendly & sociable is not easy) and physically it seems a thousand times harder on my body after I come home after a full day and even worse after the 2nd or 3rd day in a row. It's after a period like this that the bruising starts and the "broken" indescribable pain kicks in.....so your right. This way I can stay in my jammies if I so choose, take HOT baths as often as needed, lie in the bed while working, and best of all have my wonderful cat children as my assistants!!!

Not to worry about the PT endurance QC... While I am trying to remain positive about this: I do not think it is the answer.
I do think I will learn from this the proper strengthening exercises and techniques used and will benefit from this now and later but the severity of my pain and symptoms makes me KNOW that something is terribly wrong mechanically with my back. Be it the failed fusion which I FIRMLY believe is true and or a problem with the hardware*

* I KNOW the hardware in SOME way HAS to be causing the black and blue bruises blotches (now over 30 in #) and the red angry whelpy area surrounding my entire incision area.

I begin my 1st PT session this coming Monday.
My husband is adament in his opinion, I will never be able to do it. We'll see.

What he knows, is what he sees daily, me coming home in one of three ways:

1) In pain, but moderate by 3pm progressively getting worse ...most days like this I can still prepare dinner, perhaps lie on couch and watch a little tv w/him and by 7pm I am totally bed bound.
2) In pain, that is severe and I have had to wiggle in the car for the 20 min drive home and immediately have to take a VERY HOT bath and lie low, unable to do dinner, only able to do the minimal of things needed to prepare for the next day.
3) I do not make it through the full 8 hrs at work, I cry all the way home, I am unable to sit in the tub, and I get in bed surrounded with ice packs and heated blanket and cry until (enough meds later) sleep comes. after these violent episodes, I am down usually a day or 2 with extreme pain and profound soreness? it feels literally like I have been BEAT from the inside out?

So these are my varying "types of days" I am NEVER up outta bed past 7pm, I go nowhere anymore except the ofc and even that has become to hard.
and all of this while on Duragesic, Lortab, Neurontin, Soma or Zanaflex (and these are my "daytime meds!"

Knowing this, was the hardest part of NS' plan of treatment for me (and hubby) for the weeks seem like years, when your trying to get from one hour to the next as so many of us sadly know.

I was so geared up for the surgery.... from everything the NS had previously told us. Now outta the blue all is on hold and PT is course of action???? having a very hard time mentally as you can imagine I am an emotional train wreck.

In theory I still agree with NS' position but I honestly don't think he fully understands my life on a daily basis. Hubby interjected quite a bit at the last visit and actually told him at one point, "You don't see what I see EVERYDAY and you don't see the agony she is in consistently day in day out" .... so at least hubby understands and is my best advocate;)

Hubby also is firm in his belief that the NS was too quick and confident by firmly diagnosing me on my 1st visit with pseudoarthrosis, now his data and studies do not totally confirm what his observations and exam of me implied to him. And he's being ULTRA thorough as not to be wrong :confused:

I see my PM Tuesday. Having had time to again place things in some sort of perspective I realized that my PM is also extremely thorough and she did not immediately pan me off on this NS. Only after months of meds, months of various blocks, ESI's, and studies did she admit to me that things were worsening rather than improving and that SHE BELIEVED it was all due to something amiss with the fusion. She then referred me to NS, I am very interested to hear what she thinks when she learns that he has now referred me ultimately back to her (after PT of 4wks) I tend to think she may even send me for another opinion as she already knows that the other things he is suggesting I try (facet and or medial branch blocks) have been tried and have not helped me at all.

Sorry I have rattled on.....
your so easy to talk to and are so very knowledgeable
afterall, they don't call you the "BionicQueen" :jester: for nothing!

I hope you have a "Wonderful Mother's Day" with your mom
Hugs
BionicWitch





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