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Staying overnight
Sep 26, 2005
My fiance and I have been together for a long time now and we're finally going to go away for a weekend and it will be our first night sleeping in the same room and bed. Up until this point, I've always gone back to my house because he and I are trying to keep all that stuff for when we're married. But now that we're finally going to sleep in the same bed I have questions....

What should I wear? If I wear something like I'd normally wear to bed (like a tank top and cotton sleeping pants) then he may think I didn't put any effort into it. However, if I wear a nightgown or something more femminine, he may think I'm trying to sway him into sex (we're trying to wait till we get married). I don't want to look like I planned for us to get physical, but I want to look cute. I'm not talking garter belts and corsets, but a nice nightgown or something. He said today, "I'm expecting you to come out all cute in spongebob squarepants or something and watch, you'll be in Victoria's secret. Then I'll be in trouble." This was a joke, but it got me thinking...is he secretly hoping for something a little bit sexier and mentioned it as a hint, or does he really not want me to wear something like that and was serious about him being in trouble? Ugh...decisions, decisions. Don't know where he got the spongebob idea from though...

AND... if I'm wearing something sleeveless to bed, then my armpits will be slightly hair in the morning and I'm not sure I want him to see that.

Also, how does one look pretty first thing in the morning? If I don't wash my makeup off, it'll end up smeared all over and I'm not sure racoon eyes are appealing. So I'm probably going to wash my face... but I wake up in the mornings with swollen eyes, drool marks, bed head, and lines from the pillow on my face. Is there anyway to look nice without jumping out of bed first thing before he gets up? Do guys like the way girls look first thing in the a.m.?

And morning breath kisses? Do people do that? It grosses me out to TALK to anyone before I brush my teeth.... I can't imagine someone kissing me or me kissing someone without first using a little scope. Is that weird?

I know he probably doesn't care about any of this. He's happy we're finally going to spend the night together and he probably couldn't care less what I wear, but I'm stressing out. (God, I hope I don't get a stress zit!) What do you all think is the best option for sleepwear? Should I just go for it and be a little sexier, since it's our first night together (we don't have to have sex no matter what I'm wearing) or should I just stick to my normal tank and pants? We are getting married, so does it really matter what I wear one night? Then again, we probably won't sleep together for a while, so I'd like to make it special.

Any advice will surely help my frazzled nerves. I feel like such a dork asking all these questions... I'm 24, but have never spent the night with a man or anything like that. This is important to me and I'm so nervous, I'm afraid I won't enjoy it. So please help me out, post your beauty tips, sleepwear tips, or any other tips. They will be greatly appreciated... thanks.
Concerning how you look in the morning:

With my girlfriend I find it very attractive and sweet to see her in the morning with a little bit of messy hair and a tired look on her face. This is the real her, without make-up and any other additions, and so I feel quite special to be allowed to see her this way.

Also, on our first night sleeping together, my girlfriend wore one of my T-shirts to bed. Don't know if that will work for you, but that was very very fun, cute and attractive, all in one little package. :)
Hi people.... thanks to all of you for your advice, encouragement, and concerns. First the fun stuff: It was such a great trip!!! I had so much fun and it was nice to roll over and have someone I really love be there. :) The pj thing wasn't a big deal at all, and I think I (obviously) blew it out of proportion. I'd never slept in the same bed as a guy before and was terribly nervous. I think I mostly wondered what he expected. It worked out well. I wore a tee shirt and cute pajama pants I got at Mervyns (on sale :)) It wasn't even a big deal.... there was no dramatic entrance as I'd pictured in my head. I think I watch too many movies. Anyway, we got back to our room Saturday night and decided to get comfy and watch tv. It was sort of just like regular hanging out or a regular date, only this time when we were done with tv, I got up to take out my contacts, wash my face, and then went back to him to go to sleep. The next morning, he told me I was pretty and that he'd gotten a "good catch." It's mushy, but we always talk about who got the "better catch" in the relationship. In the middle of the night, it got cold and it was amazing to roll over and have someone I love right there. The sweetest thing was when he thought I was asleep and we were spooning (I hate that word) and he kissed my shoulder when he thought I was sleeping. He said he watched me sleep for awhile and it made him happy. I love him so much! Morning breath wasn't a big deal...a quick (closed mouth) good morning kiss wasn't bad at all. I'm so glad I went and I just wish I hadn't stressed out about it so much. Getting dressed was easy this morning...we've showered (seperately) at his house after the gym and before a date before anyway. That wasn't intimidating.

As for the people who were concerned about pregnancy and if I was fooling myself about not having sex, I understand your concern. Both he and I want to wait till we're married to experience certain things. That's why we haven't spent the night at each other's house, moved in together, or any thing like that. The farthest we go in that direction is cooking dinner together. I want to experience married life when I'm actually married. Maybe that's weird, I don't know. As far as the physical aspect, we're always careful. We've talked and I'm on the pill and he has other means of protection, just in case. We don't leave sex as an option, but we realize that we're human, young, and attracted to each other.... so we could slip up. Both of us have had previous partners, so we know how to protect ourselves. So we're prepared, but that doesn't mean we're giving ourselves permission to do it. I know enough young girls who have gotten pregnant because they weren't prepared and were waiting till marriage also but weren't able to handle it. I was only stressed out about my outfit because I wanted to look cute and feminnine, not sexy. I was trying to find the fine line between looking like I was looking for sex and just being attractive. It was our first night together; I wanted it to be special. (that sounds like some line out of a cheesy teen movie.) Plus, I knew it'd be a while till we slept together again. Thanks to w3ightloss for having my back. :) No hard feelings to seekalot. I got where you were coming from.

Hope this wasn't too much of an overshare. I was just so excited when I got home. I didn't want it to end. It's great to have this too look forward to for when I get married... I just wish that wasn't months away. Thanks you all! :wave:





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