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Bipolar Disorder Message Board

Bipolar Disorder Board Index

Re: Relationships
Feb 17, 2004
Hi! Well let's see I am the bipolar one and my boyfriend is a very laid back guy who takes things as they come which I appreciate. He is very understanding which I think stems from having a bipolar sister, which he helped raise. I feel a lot of guilt all of the time because of my severe mood swings and utter depression. I had a horrible depressive episode tonight which he stood by me the whole time and as he held me I felt so much guilt which only made me feel worse, sometimes I wish he would just be mean to me and not stand by me while I feel so awful. I know in my heart I don't want him to be mean to me but in my heart I feel it would only be fair. I feel like I put him through so much torture and its just not fair to him. It is a no win situation. I keep him up at night when I can't sleep and he is forced to get me out of bed when I am too depressed to do it myself. I am so thankful he is here for me but I feel like I don't deserve him. There is no median. Its wrong both ways. i am just so glad that he has the strength that I do ont have, he helps me and I only hope that I can be there for him one day like he is there for me. Bipolar disorder enatails a lot of guilt, you love the one your with but feel so guilty about dragging him/her down its a no win situation. I am just thankful to blessed with such a supportive lover and hope he will always be there for me and I for him.

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