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[QUOTE=pfkey]Full blown mania...

My first episode was in 2004 which was brought on by taking anti-depressant Wellbutrin. I was perscribed this drug to help me quit smoking.

After taking it for about 4 weeks the mania set in. Having never experienced being manic I had no idea what was happening to me but I felt real good real euphoric. I lost all inhibitions and started flirting with every girl I saw. At 37 I began dating a 19 y/o girl even though I was happily married for 14 years. I also started using drugs that I had not used in the past.

As time wore on my thoughts raced but I was able to perform my job better than ever for a time anyway. I became very angry at my wife for a past indiscretion of hers and woke her at all hours of the night to tell her what a piece of ***** she was. I also bragged about my gf and my great skills at aquiring drugs as a middle aged professional with no real experience or connections. I moved out of my house for a week. Told my wife I was going to divorce her. Engaged in lots of risk taking.

I remained manic for about 3-4 months however my wife knew what was happening with me and diagnosed my condition. The doctor never took me of the Wellbutrin but instead added Zyrexa which I didn't take so the mania became worse.

At the end of my first manic episode I had what I call a blind rage and destroyed the entire first floor of my house. All my dishes, appliances, furinture, windows...everything. I remember none of this outbreak of violence. My wife found me wondering down the road in my shorts and a t-shirt covered in blood from walking on all the broken glass and putting my arm through a window iI think. She took me home and saw the house and immediately left and went to the neighbors to call 911. I took off again and got lost in my neighborhood only to find myself back home where there were 6 police cars. I was taken to the state mental hospital.

Since then I have been diagnosed as bpI. I have continued to cycle between mania and depression. My drug use and other illegal activity have continued. My wife and I are now seperated with no intention of reconciling on her part. I have not taken my meds. Life is hell...
[/QUOTE]From Gee Gee, Hi ! pfkey,
WOW ! What a story ! I was hoping for a great ending though.
Oh well, I am a hopeless romantic, and just can't help it !
I guess this is because a friend came to my rescue, before I fell off the edge.

Actually, I have a similar story, myself. I had my first Manic episode in 85',
and I can assure you that my behaviour was horrific !
I can relate to some of what you are talking about, I promise.

At that time, BPDoctors used a lot of drugs that I don't think they use
these days. They had me strapped down (not literally), and full of Haldol,
for a couple of weeks ! I was also taking Lithium, and other meds., I'm sure.
Since 1985, I have had three, going on four Bipolar Doctors (Two of which
retired). My third one, whom I adored, not only helped me, but he taught me
to take care of myself.....,
Unfortunately, I was not there for him, as he was for me...

Also, during these years I have been on various different medications..,
One mix from one Doctor, then moved on to another one, and was given
a different mix and on and on....., I'm sure you know what I mean..,

I HATED taking the MEDS. ! I HATED the way they made me feel.
I HATED the way they knocked me to my knees.
I HATED the way they made me react to situations with my family.
I HATED the way I thought people were looking at me.
I HATED that I live in a small town, where everybody knows everything.

I STILL HATE taking MEDS. ! I Hate the way they make me feel, sometimes.
I STILL HATE the way they knock me to my knees, sometimes.
I STILL HATE the way they make me react to situations with my family.
I STILL HATE the way I think people are looking at me.
I STILL HATE that I live in a small town, where everybody knows everything.

And, as much as I STILL HATE all of this STUFF...,and HATE TAKING MEDS.,
Cuz, as much as I hate all of this..., the main thing I HATE and HATED
the most, was/is being in the Hospital !!!

How do you feel after being diagnosed as BP1 ? (Not being nosey)...,
but being concerned...,
Just wondering if there is anything I can do for you ?

Would you tell me if you thought I could help ?
Can you think of anything that might make you feel at ease, and not have
to run the risk of going back to the hospital... ?

Is there anyone, family or friend that you can talk to.. ?
It's just me, being concerned about someone I do not even know, but I
am here to tell you that I feel your pain.
I do understand how you feel.
And, I do wish there was something I could do or say to make things a bit

Take Care, and I will be waiting to hear from you..., okay ?
Gee Gee

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