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Bipolar Disorder Message Board

Bipolar Disorder Board Index

Arthur, people will tell you to pray more doing what they know how -- to try to help you. i spent a good deal of time in Christian circles and took part in very grass root teachings denominationally. i always felt i was being judged when a Christian would tell me i should be doing something more or in a specific way. i felt they treated me like i should know better. i faulted myself for not having the freedom and gifts that other Christians had. i compared myself to others and felt i could never measure up. eventually, i had a hard time receiving anything from a Christian by way of helps, even friendship.

i had to find my own way spiritually. i had to find complete acceptance and love from God for me exactly as i was. i found it and today my greatest help in life, being bipolar, is my spirituality. i don't know others with bipolar that have the same kinda spiritual life that i do and that's ok for me. i have plenty of good friends, though, that are not bipolar that share in my spiritual life and that's good.

fear holds me back from doing things i need to when i give in to it. i am learning to step out anyway and to meet fear of whatever head on. sometimes the mind tricks us into believing we need to act/or not act before we have even had the chance to experience something. this is fear and this is phobic. this will also stunt our growth. we can cling on for dear life to what we have, afraid that if we step out we will lose it. suddenly we have what we are clinging onto ONLY and we have missed out on so much more. in other words we settle.

i know what it is like to have to work so hard to overcome to get the least tiny thing in life. once we accumulate a bit we feel we dare not lose it. the fear of losing it will prevent us from moving forward to be our best. we can either settle or we can step out in faith and trust.

let's pray for each other, ok? please pray for my family, too. i will be praying for yours.

take care, Denise :)
I will pray for you and yours Denise.
I've never been able to maintain friendships, mostly because when I'm up I want to impress them or when I'm down I want to avoid them, or when it's a mix I'll want to impress them with how brutal I can be in taking them apart. So, my spirituality is not something I share with anyone but family, and it's a bit lacking. I went to a church I liked for about a year, and they told me I didn't have bipolar disorder, that the psychiatrists were controlled by ***** etc. feh. I don't have time for stuff like that, ya know?

Fear has held me back from alot. I would like to discuss all these things more, but I don't know what the board rules are as pertains to faith and stuff. If we can, maybe a seperate post? Your words have been a comfort, so thanks.

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