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I am at Wit's end!
Mar 18, 2003
I have got 3 1/2 hours (documented) last night for the first time in 3 days!

My psych is changing me from Seroquel to Geodon. Geodon has really cleared up my thinking, but Serroquel was like my nightly sleeping pill.

Prior to 3 nights ago I was taking 40/40 and then he called me last Wednesday night and told me to up it to 40/80. I told him I was still taken some seroquel to help me sleep, but once I went up to 40/80 I think I had to much meds in my system because I was bouncing off the walls. I have an appt on Friday, and I told him that I didn't think I was going to make it that long.

Now I have been taking lots of Xanax. Usually I only take Xanax if my heart starts pounding, especially at night, and it doesn't stop for at least 30 minutes. I tried taking more to use as a sleeping pill, but I don't want to get back into getting dependent on that, as I was on that for 2 years and my memory was horrible, and now I have weaned myself all the way down to 4mg Klonopin a day.

I keep calling my psych every weekday since talking to him last Wednesday and have gotten his answering machine. I have been leaving messages telling him the status since the last call, but I get no calls back. Not even from his nurse. I feel like they are conspiring against me to see how bad I can get. Now I feel like I'm manic and depressed at the same time! I feel like I'm going to go psychotic before Friday!!!

I have never ever thought of suicide, nor would I ever in the future. It's just not part of my thought process, but I thought I should bring that up since I'm new here. I'm also very good with my drugs. When I take 1/2-1mg Xanax, I wait for 45 minutes to see if it works until I take some more. I never take lots of drugs at a time, although I can now see how people can accidentally overdose.

This happened to me when I took the Zoloft in the first place! I slept a total of 6 hours in 5 days. And that was only because I had no idea was was going on (it was a panic attack and I thought I was having heart problems), so I went to the emergency room after not sleeping for 2 nights. They gave me 20mg Halcion, which let me sleep for 2 hours, and then I filled their prescription of Ambien, which I took 1 every 8 hours, then every 4 hours and then every 2 hours and after 3 days I slept for 4 hours. Then they tried to put me in a psych ward because they said I had ODed on Ambien. The damn prescription said "Take as needed at bedtime". Well, I didn't have a bedtime.

I anybody has already been through a similar situation with their doctor, I'd appreciate his/her advice. Actually I'd appreciate any advice.


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