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Bipolar Disorder Message Board

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Oh, and I never elaborated on the ADD thing. I'm less sold on that, but again, it's been suggested (by an unqualified layperson, ha). I've always done well in school and well at the jobs I can GET, but I am the A-#1 queen of procrastination, have a hard time dealing with things in life that other people do, and... This will probably sound like manic delusions, but I never really feel like I get to be totally honest, so I'll just say: I know that I am highly intelligent, I've scored high on tests all my life, and I just KNOW that I am well above average (except when I'm feeling foggy and can't remember ANYTHING, gr). And... I haven't really accomplished much with my life. I went to college and drifted around studying stupid things (in terms of getting jobs) and didn't finish, and now that I'm looking for a job again, it's once again apparent that I'll probably end up in retail or a reception desk. I KNOW I can do better, I could probably do just about anything, I've just never been able to actually DO... anything. So although maybe I got good grades in school, I think it was easy for me to get that far. In terms of my own capability, I feel like I'm achieving WAY below what I could.

And of course, because of all my ongoing problems, there's no way I can actually get any more education (financially), so I feel trapped, and... depression.

Oh, and relating to all of the above, although not in my immediate family, I have a lot of family history of mental illness.

Thanks, by the way, even of no one reads or respond to my super-long posts, for a place to just sort of vent it all out.

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