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Cerebral Palsy Message Board


Cerebral Palsy Board Index


Yeah I see that now..wasn't thinking when I posted our websites..was anxious to share and encourage you...thanks for responding. It sounds as though you are really in deep thought about all of this...I am not claiming to have all the answers but I know what my husband and I worked thru to make our relationship work. Because cerebral palsy ranges in severity and diagnosis--depending on the most prominent features exhibited--can vary as well, no two CP cases are exactly alike.
I struggled with issues of "What if..." CP is NOT a disease but a condition and the CP itself doesn't progress like a disease does. But there are physiological and psycho-social issues that present and influence someone with CP. However, keep in mind---the same need for a nurturing, loving companionship is universal in us all. The desire to bond with another in a meaningful and fulfilling relationship is borne in us all. The same feelings and emotions, misgivings fears and doubts that are within human nature can be compounded and magnified in a person with a lifelong disability diagnosis. Especially when one has had failed relationships because of disability. Establishing a nurturing partnership is where it's at in any relationship.
Intimacy issues--now there is a topic that is rearly appropriately broached when it comes to sex and disability. I have written extensively on the topic. Because of conditioning in former relationships with previous ablebodied partners comes into play here---most of that has to be unlearned and relearned depending on physical limitations. The idea is to establish your OWN intimacy based on what you both are willing to do and what can be done to the satisfaction and fulfillment of both partners. It is a delicate balance.
This was a difficult issue to come to terms with and re-write the script for in my relationship with my husband--after I had been married for 20 years previously. SEEING THE HUMOR IN THE POTENTIAL BUMBLING AND FUMBLING WAS KEY IN THIS AREA OF OUR LIVES! :angel:
But you are getting a bit ahead of yourself here, my dear. I know the intensity of internet messaging can be very detailed and intense. However, reality is another thing. and until you actually meet face to face--and enter the relationship realistically taking one step at a time over time--and if you don't see yourself as his answer to prayer and as his rescuer or have this overwhelming urge to 'fix' his (or your) shortcomings---if you can stay in the male female relationship without falling into a caregiver role and just enjoy each others friendship and companionship--then you have a good chance of building on a solid foundation.
Well Noot...I must run...day after Thanksgiving and it is a recuperation day for me. Hubby and I rented some comedy videos and are gonna have morning coffee snuggled in bed and talking about yesterdays activities and family until we both feel like getting up...Hugs and have a grand day! I enjoy our dialogue..stay positive in all you do today. Be good to yourself!
IG





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