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BUT... CFS is as bad as ever. I felt particularly horrible today. And it is so bad now, in conjunction with CFS that I simply can not do anymore of anything at the moment.

As of now I have 51 college credits, and will have that at the end of the year. Four years in college, and I only have 51 out of 120! I feel so alone, most of my friends will graduate this year and move on to careers or grad school- they have no stupid disease hurting them. Maybe it's wrong, but I sometimes wish that one of my more party-slacker-prone friends were to get this, as opposed to myself, who works hard, but am showing poor results for it.

My plan is to use the rest of this school year, and all of next year, so that I can get my ADHD and CFS under control. I literally can not sit down and read something at this point, without losing attentionm it doesn't matter if it interests me or not. I know I am doing the right thing for the long term, saving my grade while taking a difficult path, BUT I wonder how many employers will agree with me. I plan to go to Law School after I get my BA, but why should the employer hire me, a (will be when the time comes) 28 year old, over a fresher 25 year old who did not have time off? After all, my disease is "made-up" and that makes me no different than kids who took time off to travel to Europe or sit home and play video games all day! No not at all! :dizzy:

And this worries me. Will I, assuming that I do recover, face this impedment for the rest of my life? My grades may save me, but what if they don't?

I plan on exercising and getting back into shape for the first time in four years. I plan on trying to de-toxify my body and to avoid sugar, salt, wheat, and other things which are said to build up toxins. This is the only alleged way to treat and "cure" the body of this disease, by flushing it out.

Or so I have been told.

Either way, medication and therapy will be needed too. And I refuse to bomb out of school and flunk classes when all I needed was a little bit of time.

No stress, and constant support are needed too. But what can I say? My dad is a bipolar who is unemployed and does nothing all day but try to start violent fights if he is not in bed. My mother is a "grape" or "space-shot" after years of alcohol- she is also unemployed, and watches tv all day.

NONE on my friends understand my illness. Half think I'm lying to try to gain federal subsidary benefits, and the other half simply don't know how to help.

My father is the biggest problem in my life right now. I'm searching for a high-paying enough job where I can buy an apartment, and have a peaceful place to live for the next year. It got so heated that I had to leave on Sunday, and have stayed at a friend's house for the last 2 days.

I can't escape my family by joining the military, as CFS disqualifies me, and I wouldn't have a bat-in-hell's chance of being able to perform the daily standards that they expect.

So now I find myself out of school at the moment, unemployed, and not sure where I will be sleeping tonight. I feel like a loser, but then I have to remind myself that it's not true- I have a great GPA and am only thinking ahead, my job was out of my control (my boss at Blockbuster gave me time off to study for my finals, as CFS makes it take up my full day, and I had to study day-in and day-out for a week. I was given the impression that my position would stay open, but it turned out that it was filled. Talk about a royal screwing) and I don't know where I will be sleeping only because I have a violent father who I can no longer live with. So... I know it's not my fault, but why do I keep feeling like a loser?

I don't know what to do anymore. I have my long-term plan set out. But what about the here and now? How long will it take to find a goofd job? How many friends will let me temporarily stay with them until I may have to stop at home? My parents don't acknowledge my sickness, and will flip when they found out that I dropped my spring courses...

What did I do to bring this on to myself? I work so hard at school and work, and I'm always there for my friends, and I was even someone with a lot of Faith before my situation the last few years kept on getting so bad that I have begun to doubt that if God is real, he would allow me to suffer like this for no reason.

So, here I am typing this out, not quite sure who I will drop in on tonight. In a few days I can maybe drop in and get my mom to maybe set me up with some relatives, and I can go from there.

But...

1. Nobody understands what I am going through

2. I honestly feel abandoned with my new-found doubt in a higher Deity

3. I am afraid that the business world will use age and "gaps in time during school" against me, as nobody recognizes CFS as a real disease.

4. I'm afraid of how go get through the next weeks, where to live, how to find a decent job.

5. I'm afraid of the unspeakable. Maybe I will never get better. If so, I could never memorize the laws needed to be at attorney, and maybe I'll have to shift gears and become a history teacher, at least I'll have notes I can look over.

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However, I didn't come here just to tell my story and share my worries. I also came to ask questions from you all. I already feel a connection with everyone on this forum, we suffer from a crippling disease that nobody exept for ourselves can understand, and one which many doubt exists at all!

1. What is your story?

2. Have you recovered?

3. If not, have you been able to treat some of your symptoms?

4. How do you get by each day?

5. Do you have hope?

6. What foods/drinks should I eat? What should I avoid?

7. What kind of exercise is my friend, and what kind is considered strenous?

I also had two medical questions

1. My eyes hurt every day. A lot. Is this a seperate symptom, or is this part of feeling tired all the time? I wouldn't know, I haven't felt a "normal feeling of being tired" for four years now....

2. My waist hurt for about a week after I first came down with this sickness. It has been fine since. Was this one of the muscle cramp symptoms, or was it someting else? If it was, it seems to have left a long time ago...

3. I tend to get gradually setting headaches. Everyday. They are not the same that you feel with a bug or a flu, it's almost like it's on the outer fringes of the brain. I do know that I get them everyday because I start to, well... live. Everyday activities I try to concentrate on, and then I get headaches, sometimes they are pounding headaches. I don't know if the headache is a result from my ADD or if it is a seperate symptom of CFS. Or both?
hello i never heard of cfs until i read your story what is so wierd if you would'nt have stated your disease i would have thought yo were suffering from narcolespsy i just found out 6 months ago i had narcolespy and for years i was so tired no matter how much sleep as you explained and trouble remembering things i'm now beiung treated with medicine for adhd which helps me satay awake during the day my sleep center doctor said said to take 2 45 minute naps a day to keep from feeling so tired and not to sleep more than 8 hours in a night cuase more sleep makes you more tired and the headaches i experience alot from bieing so fatigued and trying to function and it's li,ke a headache from tring to just focus normally i also have periodic limb movement disorder which is a repeditave consricting of the muscles in my legs that occur every 40 seconds in my sleep for years i was in pain with my legs and no doctor could find anything wrong with me until i went to a sleep center now i'm on medication for parkinson's disease to slow down the limb movements and will problbly deveolop the disease i may not have the same problem as you but when you were explaining your family and experiences in life i felt like i was reading a piece of my own biography the only tips i have on your symtoms is remember sugar slows down the body and will actually cause tiredness check out a sleep center to see if this disease which obvilousy has created a sleep disorder ther are many safe medications to take that will help you from being so sleepy and also help your memory one is called providil ask your doctor about it i will keep you in my prayers[QUOTE=AK2;2798129]BUT... CFS is as bad as ever. I felt particularly horrible today. And it is so bad now, in conjunction with CFS that I simply can not do anymore of anything at the moment.

As of now I have 51 college credits, and will have that at the end of the year. Four years in college, and I only have 51 out of 120! I feel so alone, most of my friends will graduate this year and move on to careers or grad school- they have no stupid disease hurting them. Maybe it's wrong, but I sometimes wish that one of my more party-slacker-prone friends were to get this, as opposed to myself, who works hard, but am showing poor results for it.

My plan is to use the rest of this school year, and all of next year, so that I can get my ADHD and CFS under control. I literally can not sit down and read something at this point, without losing attentionm it doesn't matter if it interests me or not. I know I am doing the right thing for the long term, saving my grade while taking a difficult path, BUT I wonder how many employers will agree with me. I plan to go to Law School after I get my BA, but why should the employer hire me, a (will be when the time comes) 28 year old, over a fresher 25 year old who did not have time off? After all, my disease is "made-up" and that makes me no different than kids who took time off to travel to Europe or sit home and play video games all day! No not at all! :dizzy:

And this worries me. Will I, assuming that I do recover, face this impedment for the rest of my life? My grades may save me, but what if they don't?

I plan on exercising and getting back into shape for the first time in four years. I plan on trying to de-toxify my body and to avoid sugar, salt, wheat, and other things which are said to build up toxins. This is the only alleged way to treat and "cure" the body of this disease, by flushing it out.

Or so I have been told.

Either way, medication and therapy will be needed too. And I refuse to bomb out of school and flunk classes when all I needed was a little bit of time.

No stress, and constant support are needed too. But what can I say? My dad is a bipolar who is unemployed and does nothing all day but try to start violent fights if he is not in bed. My mother is a "grape" or "space-shot" after years of alcohol- she is also unemployed, and watches tv all day.

NONE on my friends understand my illness. Half think I'm lying to try to gain federal subsidary benefits, and the other half simply don't know how to help.

My father is the biggest problem in my life right now. I'm searching for a high-paying enough job where I can buy an apartment, and have a peaceful place to live for the next year. It got so heated that I had to leave on Sunday, and have stayed at a friend's house for the last 2 days.

I can't escape my family by joining the military, as CFS disqualifies me, and I wouldn't have a bat-in-hell's chance of being able to perform the daily standards that they expect.

So now I find myself out of school at the moment, unemployed, and not sure where I will be sleeping tonight. I feel like a loser, but then I have to remind myself that it's not true- I have a great GPA and am only thinking ahead, my job was out of my control (my boss at Blockbuster gave me time off to study for my finals, as CFS makes it take up my full day, and I had to study day-in and day-out for a week. I was given the impression that my position would stay open, but it turned out that it was filled. Talk about a royal screwing) and I don't know where I will be sleeping only because I have a violent father who I can no longer live with. So... I know it's not my fault, but why do I keep feeling like a loser?

I don't know what to do anymore. I have my long-term plan set out. But what about the here and now? How long will it take to find a goofd job? How many friends will let me temporarily stay with them until I may have to stop at home? My parents don't acknowledge my sickness, and will flip when they found out that I dropped my spring courses...

What did I do to bring this on to myself? I work so hard at school and work, and I'm always there for my friends, and I was even someone with a lot of Faith before my situation the last few years kept on getting so bad that I have begun to doubt that if God is real, he would allow me to suffer like this for no reason.

So, here I am typing this out, not quite sure who I will drop in on tonight. In a few days I can maybe drop in and get my mom to maybe set me up with some relatives, and I can go from there.

But...

1. Nobody understands what I am going through

2. I honestly feel abandoned with my new-found doubt in a higher Deity

3. I am afraid that the business world will use age and "gaps in time during school" against me, as nobody recognizes CFS as a real disease.

4. I'm afraid of how go get through the next weeks, where to live, how to find a decent job.

5. I'm afraid of the unspeakable. Maybe I will never get better. If so, I could never memorize the laws needed to be at attorney, and maybe I'll have to shift gears and become a history teacher, at least I'll have notes I can look over.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
However, I didn't come here just to tell my story and share my worries. I also came to ask questions from you all. I already feel a connection with everyone on this forum, we suffer from a crippling disease that nobody exept for ourselves can understand, and one which many doubt exists at all!

1. What is your story?

2. Have you recovered?

3. If not, have you been able to treat some of your symptoms?

4. How do you get by each day?

5. Do you have hope?

6. What foods/drinks should I eat? What should I avoid?

7. What kind of exercise is my friend, and what kind is considered strenous?

I also had two medical questions

1. My eyes hurt every day. A lot. Is this a seperate symptom, or is this part of feeling tired all the time? I wouldn't know, I haven't felt a "normal feeling of being tired" for four years now....

2. My waist hurt for about a week after I first came down with this sickness. It has been fine since. Was this one of the muscle cramp symptoms, or was it someting else? If it was, it seems to have left a long time ago...

3. I tend to get gradually setting headaches. Everyday. They are not the same that you feel with a bug or a flu, it's almost like it's on the outer fringes of the brain. I do know that I get them everyday because I start to, well... live. Everyday activities I try to concentrate on, and then I get headaches, sometimes they are pounding headaches. I don't know if the headache is a result from my ADD or if it is a seperate symptom of CFS. Or both?[/QUOTE]





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