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Cancer: Colon Message Board

Cancer: Colon Board Index

I'm trying to remember when I made my last post to this group and can't seem to. I came here right after surgery and was giving updates after each chemo session and then for some unknown reason I just stopped and for this I want to say how sorry I am for not following through with the promis I made to the group, please forgive me for bailing out but the whole thing just became to much for me to handle for a while.
Well it's been 12 weeks since I ended treatment and have been back for two check ups and so far so good but for some crazy reason I can't seem to relax and except that I so far have fallen into the 50% that live. Can someone please tell me if these feelings are normal? Also for the first six weeks after treatments ended I was feeling pretty good and getting some energy back, well now I just can't seem to ever feel right, I feel pretty good but not right and it scares the heck out of me. As odd as this may sound I felt so safe as long as I was going every week for treatment and now it's like I'm on my own and back into this cold cruel world, it's a very strange feeling, I know I should be in seventh heaven because they tell me for now at least that I have beat it and I am cured. Why can't I be jumping for joy instead of being worried all the time that the cancer is not all gone and I'm going to get it back? Do you guy's think maybe I should see a shrink about this? Sorry for the whining but man I feel so alone and believe me I'm not I have so much support from my wife and kids but for all the support I still feel alone in all this and I'm tired of feeling this way. Thanks for listening and I will take any advise that you may have to give me, I just want to feel good for a change and can't quite get there. FYI just being able to tell you this has helped a bit already.

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