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Cancer: Colon Message Board

Cancer: Colon Board Index

Well, it's been a while since I posted, but I figured I'd offer another update on my situation. Maybe these little details will be useful to someone who's dealing with a similar situation.

My mom is in a hospice right now. Calvary in The Bronx. It's a decent facility. She gets a lot of visitors. When she's lucid, which is becoming less and less frequent, she's quite proud of the fact that she's the most popular patient on the floor.

She's taking massive amounts of opiates for pain, which means she's on the nod a lot. When she's awake, she's generally either confused or irritable or both, but of course, that's forgivable given her situation.

She's going downhill fast now. Her blood pressure dropped so low that they put her on critical a couple of days ago (and administered last rites), but now she's bounced back a bit. She's very claustrophobic and hates staying in her room, so every time she has a visitor, she wants them to push her around in her wheeled chair for hours.

It's very hard to deal with a mom who's this sick. My friend and I were talking about it and he made a good point. When you're in this situation, there's a strange dichotomy -- the emotion of the situation makes you feel like you're a ten-year-old kid again. You feel helpless, you feel an almost childlike attachment to your parent and you feel scared.

But at the same time, you also feel like the roles have been reversed, and you are now the grownup and your parent is like a helpless child. It's odd, having all the old emotions and attachment to your parent that you had when you were young come dredging up, yet still having to be the adult and take on the caregiver role.

Anyway, on the bright side, my wife is due to give birth to my first child in two weeks, a daughter, Jane. I'm just hoping the happiness of that occasion isn't dimmed by the end of my mom's unfortunate situation. The timing couldn't be worse.

Oh well, that's about it. If you remember, keep my mom in your prayers.

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