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Cancer: Colon Message Board


Cancer: Colon Board Index


Windy-

I know how you feel, but I experienced that when some of my friends and family learned that I was a lesbian, although I never had an officially coming out party, LOL :) .

People don't know unless they've been there. My sisters have watched what my mother went through, but I don't think they learned much, I was her primary caregiver, and now my one sister cries all the time thinking she is going to get colon cancer, since my mother had it, I had it and now my father has it, I told her to get a grip, I know that might seem mean, but she is a prescription-drug and substance abuser who can't handle shiat.

One of my nieces friends told me the other day, when we were collectively talking about children, he is 19, she is 21, and I am 29 and my partner is 31, and I was saying how I won't be able to have children now, and he said to me, you're lucky to be alive, you should count that blessing, I looked at him and said honey, you're young yet, don't preach and try to teach me on subjects you have no education on, it really pissed me off. I know I am lucky, and I am better than I was, but it doesn't mean my ordeal wasn't horrible, or the fact that I can't carry a child now because of chemotherapy doesn't affect me, I think that bothers me more than the cancer does.

Some people really don't think, a lot of them still have the "can't happen to me attitude".
Christy, that ranks up there with the comment upon learning that a woman has miscarried, "you're young, you can have another". Some people's ideas of equivalence is screwed up.

Often though I find that such comments are the desire on the other person's part to say something encouraging but they don't think through what they say prior to blurting it out.


Odd isn't it that substance abusers may have a great fear of something like colon cancer but the damage to their liver means nothing(or smokers and their lungs)

Kids may say the darnest things but adults sometimes say the stupidest things.


As for 'coming out'. I had a friend inform me (30 years ago) that another friend was gay and he warned me not to treat him any different. That floored me, the gay man in question was and continues to be one of the nicest guys I have ever known, unlike the trackrecord of substance abuse and marital infidelity of the guy who told me about the coming out. Unfortunately the nice guy no longer lives in this town but I saw him at a family reunion(I married his cousin's cousin, long story) and he is still a great guy. (BTW he was 48 at the time of the reunion and my daughter who was 25 said it bloody pity he was gay. Did I mention he is good looking and owns his own aircraft?) :D
[QUOTE=jaydees]Christy, that ranks up there with the comment upon learning that a woman has miscarried, "you're young, you can have another". Some people's ideas of equivalence is screwed up.

Often though I find that such comments are the desire on the other person's part to say something encouraging but they don't think through what they say prior to blurting it out.


Odd isn't it that substance abusers may have a great fear of something like colon cancer but the damage to their liver means nothing(or smokers and their lungs)

Kids may say the darnest things but adults sometimes say the stupidest things.


As for 'coming out'. I had a friend inform me (30 years ago) that another friend was gay and he warned me not to treat him any different. That floored me, the gay man in question was and continues to be one of the nicest guys I have ever known, unlike the trackrecord of substance abuse and marital infidelity of the guy who told me about the coming out. Unfortunately the nice guy no longer lives in this town but I saw him at a family reunion(I married his cousin's cousin, long story) and he is still a great guy. (BTW he was 48 at the time of the reunion and my daughter who was 25 said it bloody pity he was gay. Did I mention he is good looking and owns his own aircraft?) :D[/QUOTE]

I couldn't have said any of that better myself





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