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Death & Dying Message Board


Death & Dying Board Index


Your post has made me feel so helpless. I don't know where to begin.
Here are a few of my thoughts that I have many more thoughts on:

Death is not pretty. Death of the human body is not a part of "faith" as you mean it. God never promised that our bodies would live forever. Just that indefinable part that is our spirit, soul, personality.

For many death is a process of our body shutting down.
Our liver, stomach, kidneys are useless where we are going and they shut down. Some say they shut down in the opposite order that we got them in. i.e. hearing is the first thing we have before we are even born and it is the last sense we have even in the midst of dying in a coma.

Sometimes what you think is "giving up" is actually someone who has reached that stage of grieving that is called acceptance. When my Dad was diagnosed with metastatic colon cancer we all prayed for a miracle of course. But over a period of 3 - 4 months we were praying that he be at peace and pain free. None of us were giving up, and that last prayer was answered.

I am sorry that you see parts of the process of death as humiliating. Loss of bodily functions is as natural while dying as it is when we are babies & toddlers.

Anger is definitely a part of the grieving process!! You are entitled to it!!
They are:
Shock
Denial
Anger
Guilt
Sadness
Acceptance
Growth
They say you go through all of them, not always in order - and may spend longer in one than in others.

I am not very experienced in your situation of having a pre-school age child. I'm giving you a link to a Hospice page that discusses this situation. Not just pre-school, but if you scan throught the article you'll find alot of helpful information. [url]http://www.hospicenet.org/html/talking.html[/url]

It is quite obvious to me that you love and admire your Grandmother very much. I still miss my Grandma and she died over 30 years ago. Most of the time I still feel that she is with me as a guardian angel or loving soul. I miss her hug, and her chocolate chip cookies... but I have no doubt that I'll be in her presence again someday.

You have a powerful job to do in the years ahead - to keep your Grandmother's memory alive by sharing your memories of her and love for her with your chidren so that they can keep her memory alive with their children...
I have a feeling you are extremely well-suited for that job!!!





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