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Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

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Hi everyone,
I think I have come out of my little black hole again. I think I was trying to disappear again, even from myself. Thankyou all so much for the support. All of you. You are all so special, it meant so much reading your posts. Love you all!
Anyway I am sorry that I put such a negative post on here but I felt real low. I can't believe I didn't go to work! I can't believe I did not call and explain. I just can't face them. I've switched off the phone so they cannot call me.
Yesterday I had a two hour counselling sesh and guess what I think I lost my counsellor! What a reject from rejectsville must I be! I actually started to open up and talk about the stuff I have kept secret all these years. Then SHE started crying and told me she didn't know if she was experienced enough to help me with my issues. How the hell did that work out? I flaming well have to LIVE with the issues. Sorry if that sounds self absorbed but I thought counsellors were meant to help you.
I feel awful like I should never have bothered like I am just too much of a freak to be helped. I think someone up there is pissed with me or something!
So I skipped my doctors check today cos I didn't want to see that horrible locum. Does this mean I forfeited my chance at help now. Do I care anymore? Not sure. Dunno what went wrong in my head but I am sure they left out a bit of my brain when they made me. LOL!

Lydimir, you are amazing for beating your bulimia. Well done you, and thanks for sharing your tale. I hope it helps my good friends on this thread who are suffering that particular demon at the moment. Thankyou.

Emily, please don't cut yourself sweetheart. Those scars will linger and even when you beat this (cos I know you will) you will bear them as a reminder of your dark days if you don't quit now. Don't let it become a habit. Tell your GP tomorrow and get them to sort out your appointment quicker. Also weren't you seeing a counsellor this week? Hows that gonna be for you? And as to the weight fluctuations it means nothing. Seriously when I did a fortnight fasting drinking only minimal water I still put weight on a couple of times, and I was on zero calories for two weeks. Yes I did lose quite a bit, but it fluctuated a lot. So maybe it is water retention or something? Have you gone to the docs about how tired you are and got a bloodtest?

Emily1990, Honey no-one minds you posting on this thread. We love you to pieces. Thanks so much for your support. Now please turn the support on yourself and get some help. Please.

Nic i didn't mean to upset you. Promise. I just hurt so bad, still do really. How are you honey? Have you told your doctor about your new symptoms? Let me know how you are doing. Give me some of your worries so I can stop moping about myself! Let me help you instead.

Louisa, you are so sweet. And that quote was so very nice. Thankyou. Hope you are doing ok too. Keep posting.

Anyway guys, thankyou for all your wonderful posts. I hope you are all doing well. Love to all from
H xoxo

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