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Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

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Re the comp problemóI have a feeling as to what it could be. But Iím not quite certain yet from your description. Are ALL the colors distorted? Or just some of them? Do the colors seem darker to you? And less colorful, so to speak?

Yeah, Iím quite bored and lonely most of the time. And like I said before, I donít think that my dad is linked to my eating since I SEE no connection. But Aury/Louisa suggest that it is. Plus, he does all that stuff [i]usually[/i] at night when I'm asleep, or am getting ready for bed. So, that doesn't really gimme any time to eat afterwards. I just fall back asleep, haha. I donít know. Itís all so complicated.

And youíre sorta right about my liking fruits/veggies. During lunch, I FORCE myself to eat it. And other times, yeah, I guess I just like Ďem. Itís hard to ONLY eat fruits/veggies, thoughÖ I like variety, I suppose. I usually donít eat breakfast because I know I will eat a lot at nightóbut I recently just started. And no, I donít really eat breakfast-type food for breakfast. Itís just me and a ham sandwich.

Iíve tried drinking a cup of water before eating-thing, but I donít know. Iím still not ďfullĒ afterwards. And sometimes, too much water makes my tummy bloat and it feels really, really uncomfortable. Oh yeah, and Iím not actually on my own during the night. My brotherís always home with me. But he doesnít quite understand what Iím doing. Plus, Iím always in the bedroom, and heís always in the living room, so he doesnít realize. And I KNOW that Iím not hungry when I eat. So, when I DO eat, I donít even have to look into that.

Hmm, I honestly donít see anything wrong with your dietómaybe except for the coffee and the ice-cream, but otherwise, I would say it wereÖ uhh, pretty good? Compared to mine anyway. Do you have any bingeing episodes? If so, how often? Just curious. I would like to give you some advice of some sort, but I have no idea what to say. :D

Wep, I hate to tell yah but you have no control over how tall she is or how much she weighs. If it were inherited, that is. And if it was, then it just was. I donít think you can do anything about that. So, please stop feeling guilty??

I see you're online right now, but wep, I'm off to bed. It's 4am already and I'm dead-beat tired. :yawn:[/QUOTE]

Hi Ms. Quench -

Awww, sweet of you to even comment about my 'puter problem. It's just sooooo frustrating when something happens and you don't know what caused it, much less how to fix it!! One thing I didn't mention is that the night before last we had about a 10min power outage here, and I've no idea why. I think it did something the 'puter didn't like - touchy things, 'puters, ya know? Yes, it's really messed with the colors, but I'm also responsible for some of that trying to fix making some things worse. I tried to fix the backround color, end ended up changing other colors, instead. Somehow, I also messed with the fonts so letters are bigger, for icons and stuff - like "Start" is twice the size it was. :rolleyes: In fact, I'm realizing that all the bottom icons are twice as big! I've really messed things up good!! I'm such a dolt. But, as for the color makes backrounds of stuff, instead of being a solid color, like usual (even the backround color of these Boards, which are, I forget now, brownish????) Instead, the backround is like little squares of tiny dots which are red and grey. It also affects every picture you see, like on the net...they're not clear at all. So, it's like the dpi?? dpsi??? has been messed with, or something. I don't even know what I'm talking about....I'm sick of seeing dots. I have spots before my eyes!!!!! :D Anyway, I have clouds on my "Start" page, on a blue sky. Now, I have the clouds, but the sky is grey and weird-looking. To tell you the truth, I can't be sure it's a 'puter problem, or a monitor problem. I think I told you I've only been using a computer for about 1.5 years now, and most of what I know, is self-taught. I learned a LOT the hard way. :)

Well, of course I can't say positively, either way, whether the sexual abuse is responsible for your bingeing. It's just interesting that you eat normally during the day, but it starts when you get home. Course, I'm a night eater, too, but for different reasons. Oh, and I suggested eating more fruits and veggies when you're home, but not that you have to limit yourself to only those things. Just try making the snacks more of those things. And, I know it's difficult that your mom doesn't bring home dinner til late, but this is definitely part of the problem. Whatever she brings home, are there leftovers? If so, what you could do is reheat it and have it the next night for dinner, at no later than 7:30. And have your dessert right after dinner. Then, if you're hungry later, only fruits to nibble on. If you explain to your mom that you're gaining weight and need to diet, maybe she will buy you things that are better for you. BTW, my mom always used to say that you "rarely saw a fat Chinese person, because they eat so many vegetables and fish." Does your mom fix these dishes often? Because typically they're better for you, and you could probably fill up on them and not gain weight. Now see, I LOVE Chinese food, but I've heard that what is served in restaurants is not all that authentic. For example, I LOVE sweet and sour pork or chicken, but being deep fried adds calories, of course. But I love any of the chow mein or chop suey dishes and they're filled with vegetables. But I also love egg rolls and pot stickers, all fried!! And for the carbs, I love fried rice ans Chinese noodles (wet :D ) So, one CAN quickly gain weight on these things, but I've long suspected that much of it isn't very authentic, but you would know better than I. Anyway, if you just try to eat more fruits and vegetables, it will definitely help you calorically.

No, I guess I'm really not a binger, except for the nightly bowl of ice cream. I have more than a "serving", for sure!! More like 3-4 scoops. THAT is my biggest problem. I MUST have it....but I MUST learn how NOT to!!!!!!!!

Guess you're almost done with school now, huh? What will you do for the summer?

Char/pam :wave:

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