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[QUOTE=dilemma]hi again, pam!!
oh dear, this jumping back and forth is going to make me dizzy! but it's all good.

i'm 30?!?! yikes, where'd the 10 years go? :eek: haha, i'm j/k. my mom's always told me i have an "old soul". i guess it's cuz when i was little i'd never really play with the other kids, but just sit on the side and observe their play, like i was monitoring them or something. who knows? haha... i guess i'm just a weirdo. :jester:

anyhow, about the health issue. yes health is a BIG part of it. we don't want you having any of those diseases/problems you mentioned! BUT, you can't expect to keep on hating yourself and hoping somehow your own hatred/dissatisfaction/call-it-what-you-will of your body will motivate you to change :nono: . hatred breeds ill-will and discomfort. not to mention sadness. and you KNOW what happens when we're sad and depressed. it's one thing when it's a chemical imbalance, but another when we're causing it by disrespecting ourselves with self-hate. does that make sense? it's like a vicious, never-ending cycle. you get depressed, you eat, you hate yourself for eating, you get depressed, you eat... and on and on and on... :dizzy:

on the other hand, if you're not sad/depressed, you can think about other things besides your body!! you can think about things you'd like to do such as reading a good book, calling a friend, working on a puzzle (jigsaw, crossword, etc). anything! and that in return will take your mind off of eating and keep it there. and then you'll be happy, and then you won't need to eat except for sustenance, and then you'll gradually and safely lose weight without 'suffering' and then you'll lower your risks for certain diseases!!! and then we'll all be HAPPY!! :D

oh no!! you're a smoker?? :confused: i feel silly and disrespectful saying this, but that's just doubling your risks of everything! (sorry to get technical and researcher-y, but i can't resist!) overweight and smoking are the two number one causes of disease and the other d-word. please please stop!! i KNOW it's so much easier said than done, but pleeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase??? just start slow, like the weight loss. you know, you could do it together. i don't know how many cigarettes you smoke a day (hopefully not too many!) but try to cut back one a day. instead of smoking one (which takes how long? 5-10 mins? sorry, i'm pretty ignorant in that area), try doing modified "exercises". like just stretching, or sitting leg lifts. or better yet, just walk out your front door and get some fresh air. if you have a driveway, start there. start SLOW. injury is not worth pushing yourself too hard over. just walk once down your driveway, and then back to your door. take as long as you need. then next time, maybe twice up and down. or just once again. anything is better than nothing. and if you're sitting at the computer, try doing arm lifts. just lift one arm at a time out to the side, parallel to the floor and hold it there for 1-5 counts (try for one count longer than you're comfortable) and repeat it 5-10 times. then the other arm. and just increase accordingly (either longer counts or more reps). if you must, chew gum... i would avoid the nicorette and other nicotine things, such as patches for fear of being dependent on those, but if you feel like you can use them RESPONSIBLY (haha, i sound like i'm talking about alcohol or something) then by all means. they'll probably help to control cravings.

oy, this is getting long. but i knew it, you do like yourself! if only you could like ALL of yourself. you have green eyes?!?!?! lucky duck! i'm sooooooooo jealous ;) i've always wanted green eyes, and have even thought about getting colored contacts! and glossy hair!

okay, well i better post before it gets too long to do so and ends up getting lost!

take cares, pam/charlyssa! :wave:

~em

p.s. i was feeling reaaaaaaaaallllly sad, but now am a bit better after writing all this:). i just find it hard to understand WHY i get these mood dips. they seem so arbitrary. maybe the psychiatrist will know what's wrong with me.[/QUOTE]

Hi Em!!
I think you're mom is right - you do seem like you have an old soul, and I rrecognize that, as that's how my daughter was, too, when she was little - seemed like she enjoyed the company of adults more than kids her own age...and older kids just loved her. She's Pisces (I m, too) and they say that's typical of the sign...and she's very Pisces. What are you, and everyone else here, too. Thay stuff fascinates me - no, not the day to day forcast stuff - just the personality traits of all the signs. It is often soooo right on.

You're right about self-hate and the vicious cycle, etc. Did I say I hated my body? OK, maybe that's too strong a word - I very much dislike it, of course, but it's my own fault it is the way it is!! And I'm very angry and disappointed in myself for being so weak and allowing it to happen. Those are my true feelings.
As far as keeping busy, I do, not only with writing all my girls! but also I dabble in art, I LOVE to read - read the paper every day, Readers Digest, and books, too. There's always housework, laundry, etc., but the hard time is at night when I finally get to sit and relax & watch TV. What is it about watching TV & eating?? THAT is a habit I need to break...and night is the worst time to eat!! What passes thru the lips ends up smack on the hips!! :-(

I know you are sooo right about smoking, of course. I started when I was 16, before all the hoopla that it caused cancer, etc. I know I need to quit...but quit, and diet, too??????????????? Oh, I just COULDN'T. I would need to be committed. No, realllllly!!!!! I smoke about a pack a day. I know I need to exercise, but when I get some weight off....so I don't drop dead!!!...then I will.Cross my heart, and hope to......not die!!! Besides, how can I do arm lifts and type, too??? :-)

Yep, eyes are green - my mom said when I was little they were just about turquoise, as they were more blue til I turned about 1-2...then they started to change...and blue and green makes turquoise, right? My mom had green eyes, too...but they were positively chartreuse...cat eyes!! My dad's were brown, so, I ended up with forest green eyes, and there's like this orangeish in the center - cantaloupe eyes...which remeinds me of a song from the 60's, "Judy in disguise", which I know you haven't heard of, and I'd be amazed if you did!! Do you know that it wasn't until just a few weeks ago that my son told me he wished he had green eyes, that he always loved mine??? After all this time he tells me that!! My kids still knock me over with what they say! :-)

Well, other posts to answer, in order, so I'm off to the next.....later!!!

HUGS!!
Char/pam :wave:





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