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Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

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[QUOTE=dilemma]heya mrs. pamiggle wiggle:)

did you ever read the mrs. piggle wiggle books?! i just LOVED them because she seemed to have the answer for EVERYTHING and was so cool and nice and you know:).

hehe.. anyhow. i should be able to keep in touch, though probably not as often. it will depend on whether or not and what type of job i manage to get this summer. but yes, it will be sad if i can't talk to you all every day:(.

as for therapy... i wish i could have it everyday. i don't know what it is, but for the past two weeks, right after i get out, i have this feeling of joy and lightness. very very strange. but also very very cool. :) but unfortunately, the lightness and joy only last for a short while... they have no power to extend throughout the week. *sigh*. i weighed myself for the first time today in a loooooooooong while. and i'm heavier than i've ever been in my entire life!!!! :eek: . yes. and this was after waking up, after not having eaten anything since dinner last night, which was around 6.30. yikes!! and then what did i do? ate lots and lots and lots today. we had an outside 'field day' of sorts all day today, and that means lots of food. and my will was weak today. and so i ate and ate and ate some more. very spread out throughout the day, so no binge per say, but just nibbling for the entire day!!! lots of brownines too :(. *sigh*

anyhow. mrs. pammi charred-stocking, how goes your day? i agree with Q on the thought that the eating plan is no longer a diet once it's just the way you eat. i think i've forgotten how to eat. if that makes any sense. and just that i feel like i don't really HAVE a favorite food anymore. you know? like i've killed all of them, and don't even really taste them on binges, or when restricting, and so nothing really stands out anymore. and just the thought of food being the enemy.

anyhow, i just ran across a few boards that were pro-ed, or more specifically, ana and mia. and it was pretty disturbing that these girls were just encouraging each other. but i don't know... it seemed too forced, imo. like they were just dieting or something. i know it's a really fine line, but i still think you need some psychological predisposition to fall in really deep and cross that line. they just sounded like crash dieters. anyhow, i shouldn't be criticizing. but i just wanted to go and wake each of these girls up and be like what are you doing? why are you trying to be this way? do you WANT to ruin your life? i don't know about everyone else on this board, but i never WANTED any of this. i didn't strive to be anorexic or bulimic or a binge-eater. yet i've been through it all.... and am still struggling, unfortunately. it was more of something just snapping inside of me. and sometimes i think i'm just waiting for it to snap back. :rolleyes:

enough of that rant. yes, i'm seeing a psychiatrist on tuesday about meds and have another meeting with my therapist on wednesday morning. i don't know though... i've always been hesitant to take meds... just cuz they can totally screw with your brain and body and stuff. but if it's the only way... we'll see i guess. maybe he'll have some other suggestions?

at least i've felt a little less dark. then again, it's only friday. but i have been around people more. which is good.

okay, well you take cares. i'm going to work out a schoolwork schedule so that i don't fall hopelessly behind.

let me know how you're doing and have a wonderful wonderful weekend/night!


p.s. Q-tip, you sound just like me re the schoolwork. the problem with that method tho, is once you get behind, it's almost impossible to catch back up. i'm not trying to discourage you , but just let you know that not every point written in a textbook is of importance. in fact, it's usually a bunch of fluff stuck in to make it look more intimidating. but really, try try to weed out that fluff and focus on the major world events. good luck![/QUOTE]

Hiya Emmeroony!

No, haven't heard of those books but my name is cute! So, I, too have the answers for everything, hmmm? You mean that in a GOOD way, right?? haha!

Well, that's a relief that you'll be able to keep in touch over the summer, even if it's not every day, that's OK. It's MUCH better than having to go 3 months without talking to you!!

SO sorry about the weight gain, but, well, I sure know the feeling. Hey, maybe this summer you will be more active, ride a bike, play tennis, whatever you usually like to do. You'll have lots more time to be active, even if you have a full time job...there's no homework, weekends hopefully will be free, and is there a neighborhood pool? So much exercise for someone who's young and healthy. You could have 20lbs dropped easily by Aug., you know? So don't sweat it, Emster! Also, perhaps being around your Mom's more healthy cooking will be more of an incentive, too. But even if you don't manage any of these things, that's what we're here for, you know? We all want the best for you, but we are all prepared to hear the worst - that's the beauty of this board, punkin. Oh, and BTW, I adore brownies. I am a chocoholic, there is no doubt. Ever had ice cream on a nut brownie then dumped chocolate sauce on it? OH!!!!!!!!!! This is painful to think about. :-(

I'm delighted you like therapy! Wish I did!! I have to see my therapist and psychiatrist Mon. Yuck. Hate it, hate it, hate it!! I know what you mean about meds, but I suspect you need them, based on all the things you've said. One thing that I find amazing is that, even being on 3 types of meds,I don't have that drugged feeling. I just feel...near normal. Fatigued more, but that's part of the plan, because I wasn't sleeping well before. Now I sleep toooooo much!! But I'm sure they'll find something that is the right fit for you.

Unfortunately I have never felt that way about all the good nourishing foods. I mean, I;ve been on diets for many months at a time, definitely long enough to have changed eating habits. The day has yet to come that I still wouldn't
crave all the things I shouldn't. It's this demon inside me and I don't know how to kill him - but I put him to sleep whenever I indulge my cravings..Just completely SICK.

But I know what you mean...that you never wanted to be this way,and it just happened. I think it's that way for all of us. I NEVER used to be so obsessed with food, but as I got older and the kids left, then menopause, making a major move, well.....the beast just began to grow. So, how to slay the food beast?? here it is, 9:20 pm and I'm starting to get hungry now...well, all this food talk, too!! :nono:

Well, always so good to hear from you, ya know. You take care, OK?? And write when you can/want.


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