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Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

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[QUOTE=girlygirl11]It was my Sweet Sixteenth yesterday!! (are we allowed to give out ages?)

And I start work tomorrow for the first time (its just a part time job). I'm very excited!

You're spoiling my delight by NOT telling me how you are silly :p! You can't just forget that you're on this board for a reason other than helping others!! Are you still dieting (or trying to?) How's that working out (I assume not well b/c you didnt want to tell me..but that OK!! Just keep trying!!)[/QUOTE]

Hiya GG!!

Thumbs up and good luck on the start of your job tomorrow!!! Being that you're 16, is this then you're first job...well, I mean, other than babysitting or something like that. Your 1st PAYCHECK-type, it what I meant. Ironically enough, other than babysitting, MY first job was also at a bakery when I was 16! Me!! El chubbo!!! Just what I be surrounded by temptation for 2 hours a night, Mon - Fri., and 5 hours on Sat. (Until you were 18, you could only work 15 hours a week - not sure if that's changed, the Child Labor Laws here.) Anyway, I was told I could eat whatever I wanted!!!! LOL!!!!!! So there you are, it's 4pm, you haven't eaten since noon, you walk 6 blocks to get to the job, and by the time you get there, you walk in, and all those WONDERFUL aromas...... :bouncing: LOL Talk about a kid in a candy store!! I always had a brownie, and I SWORE that was all I'd have.......well, then....OK, just ONE more confection - THAT'S IT!!!!!! Oh, my.....good thing I had a 6 block walk home. Dinner was at 6:30, and my mother couldn't understand why I had no appetite. Welp, didn't take long for the uniform to start getting a bit snug. :D So, that was the end of that - no more snacking. Instead, I brought a brownie home for after dinner. I had a bit more self-control in those days. Now, I have none..........

......And that, my dear, is why I don't like to talk about myself. It is entirely too embarrassing. If I told everything on these Boards of how I keep failing and failing and failing, everyone would think I'm disgusting and no one would talk to me anymore.

OK, I will tell you something else, as long as I'm talking for a bit about me, and then I won't talk about me again for a long time. If ever. I just get so embarrassed....and also, there's something else that I've never said before. And even now I'm afraid to say it because of not wanting to offend anyone. But I guess it's time I explain something about how I feel. Sigh..........OK. I guess I just don't really feel I have an eating disorder. I think that "compulsive overeater" is a very nice title...a way to include people like me into the mix of eds. But....well, you know Aurora.....and if you're reading this Aurora, and I hope you are, because then I won't feel lke I'm saying something about you behind you're back....but Aurora had an ed. Anorexics, it's soooooo serious. Or those who are bulemic and/or binge, and who purge...that's also serious. There are VERY serious health risks and problems with them. THEY have the true eds, and this includes you, too, GG. I just feel like a fraud, and like I shouldn't be here. I just can't stop eating what I KNOW I shouldn't. I don't consider that an ed. I just think that I have no self-control. And I think when most people think of fat people, they just see them as disgusting. They don't think of an ed...if you are rail thin, THEN you have an eating disorder. Or if you eat and then purge. THAT is an eating disorder. Do you see what I mean? Fat people are just disgusting and should just develop some willpower. So, when I talk about me, and food, and my issues, etc., I fear people are thinking all these things. So I get embarrassed, and feel I just shouldn't really talk about my so called "ed". I know you'll disagree, because you know all the things I've told you here, but even when I'm typing, I'm thinking....this is just silly. "Ed", right!! So, I just prefer to know about you and everyone else, and, it also keeps my mind off of me. I would sooooo much rather try to help everyone else...mainly because others here have it sooooo much worse than I do..but also because I feel hopeless. All of you have given me such good advice, and I just can't seem to mange it. And that embarrasses me, too. So, now you've had an earful!!! And now you see why I don't like to talk about me! :)

So, that is enough about me for a very long time! Except one more thing - My hubby and I just celebrated our anniversary on the 10th - we have been married "sweet 16" years!! Just thought you might get a kick out of that info....or not. LOL Have a terrific day tomorrow, and I'll be looking forward to hearing all about it!

Char :wave:

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