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Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board


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[QUOTE=girlygirl11]Oh, your problems aren't any less important OR significant than anyone else's here! Your disorder too causes health, mental and relationship problems! You need help no less than anyone else!

I'm glad you know HOW to lose weight, and I understand the motivator part...I used my friends and getting back to school on time as mine! I know this is kind of really general, but why don't you do it for your kids. Don't you want to see your grandkids?? If your health continues to deteriorate, then you may not be around for them (if you already have them, do it for them anyways). Or, you could plan a vacation of some sort with your husband in a couple months time. Then, make it a goal to lose XXlbs before then- it'll be like a reward! It doesn't have to be somewhere you'll need to wear a bathing suit (if youll feel uncomfortable), but make it somewhere where you'll enjoy yourself. It can even incorporate excersise- for example, a skiing trip, scuba diving trip, hiking trip (those are fun!..you can even camp out and bring your own food).

Also, don't fall into the "dieter's mentality". This is basically the all-or-nothing mentality. Ill give you an example: Suzy has been on a diet for 2 weeks already, successfully losing 4 lbs. One night, she goes to a friend's house (she knows whats being served) and they surprise everyone with delicious butter pecan ice cream that they just picked up. Suzy has stuck to her diet so far, all through dinner and such, so she decides to have just a bite of ice cream. After the bite she feels so guilty that she's blown her diet, so why bother trying to fix it- she eats half the tub of ice cream, plus the cake she had previously said no to. Now she feels even worse, but since she's completely blown her diet, there's really no point in trying to fix it, so she's destined to be fat her whole life b/c she can't diet successfully EVER.

That's the mentality that messes ppl up- a little bite here or there WONT throw off the diet. You CAN diet and have a spoonful of ice cream once in a while, and it won't throw you off. Obviously you can't have a litre of ice cream, but one spoonful will not ruin your diet. I'd say tomorrow (if possible), or at least SOMETIME this week, you start a diet. You can even keep an online food journal (with times eaten, measurements, etc), here in this thread if you'd like, to help you to stick to your diet more be sure to post the spoonfuls here and there). Let your husband know about it, and your family/friends, so they can support you and try not to do/say the wrong things. Weigh yourself the day you start (in the morn is best, but anytime is good), and then exactly ONE WEEK later (same time of day, same clothes-though preferably none). It's just an idea, you don't necessarily have to if youre not ready, but tell me what you think! (ps. I don't know if where you live will have it, but Dr.Phil's weight loss book is fantastic..it'll help you lose weight and feel better about yourself..look into it..maybe you canget it online? He also has a cookbook.):D

As for the preparations I mentioned..well I guess what I mean is, currently, I'm still very much so counting calories and having exact portion sizes. During the month before the cottage, I could try to ease off that a little, so when I go, it wont be the first time I haven't calculated the calories of the day. So by "prepare" I guess I just need to "speed up my recovery" within that month. It's a long shot, but if I can do it JUST one time, for one meal, then I think it'll make it that much easier in the summer.

My weekend has been pretty uneventful so far. I went to a party yesterday for my friend's birthday..it was so cold outside!! The party was lots of fun anyways. Hope yours is great too!
GG[/QUOTE]



Hi girl -

I guess I just feel I'm hopeless. You have so much excellent advice, as have other people, so I feel guilty that there is so little I can manage to do of all the wonderful advice. Right now it is simply down to...JUST DOING IT!! But food keeps winning, and I get sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo mad at myself!! So mostly it's just easier not to try, then I don't have to feel so awful for trying AND failing, cause it just makes me feel 10X worse. I look at my slim son and my thin hubby, and THAT also makes me feel awful. ThaT I'm the only one that has a major problem with food...and that it has to SHOW so much. I really wish I could bring myself to purge. I know that sounds terrible, and anyone who purges would tell me NO, DON'T!!! But at least I wouldn't have gotten so fat.

As for my health problems, most, if not all, aren't related to obesity. I have degenerative disk disease, fibromyalgia, scoliosis, bi-lateral saroiliitis, arthritis in my neck and left knee (THAT one could be because of obesity- but I have also fallen on that knee several times as a kid, and twice as an adult, long before I weighed this much, so, I suspect it's injury-related, like football players always get) So, because I live with so much pain from all this stuff, it's kind of like food is sort of a......pain killer? in a way, too. I have use fppd for all the wrong reasons for soooooo long. That's why I think I've just got to get going with seeing a hypnotherapist, and stop procrastinating!! But I'm also a bit afraid, so that holds me back, too. I also have chronic anxiety and depresson and i take meds, and meds aren't helping my appetite, either. Oh, it's all just sich a mess isn't it?? So this is why I have all these feelings and why it's just easier for me to concentrate on everyones else's problems. Then I don't have to think about mine!! :D

Actually, we're in the process of looking for a house to buy and have to move by the end of Sept so that is keeping us very busy!! We just went thru all the loan approval stuff...and now we have to go thru it again, because as luck would have it, my husband just got a raise which throws everything off, so all the loan stuff has to be changed and we have to wait til that's done. So much anxiety!!!!! And that just makes my eating go crazy, too. I wish someone would just knock me out, I would sleep for a year, only IV fed 1,000 calories a day, and wake up slim. OHHHH, if only I could!!! I wouldn't even mind losing an entire year of my life - it would be worth it to not have to suffer thru dieting, temptaion, frustration, etc.

You have described "Suzy" well - she is me!!!! You're exactly right, especially about the blowing it with one bite. It's better if I don't have ANYTHING tempting at ALL, because one bite, and I'm a gonner. It's the same things alcoholics say - ne sip of a drink, and forget it. They can never drink again if they are to remain sober. But a person who is a food addict, they can't say "I'll never eat again!" - so, I've heard that it's the worst addiction out there. One is constantly surrounded by temptation, so, all they can do is to learn self-control. Ahhhhhh, and THAT is the hardest thing of all to do. What I NEED to do is become like you - be so afraid of food, and gaining, that I'm constantly aware of every morsel that goes into my mouth, to worry and think about calories. I wonder...if I ever did get slim (which, in all my diets I have NEVER done - I've just been less fat!!!) I wonder if I would be more like you?? Because I would actually HOPE SO!!!! As it's the only way to STAY slim and not gain it all back.

Whenever I do start the diet, I will definitely tell you...it's just getting to that point to START!! LOL Oh, and it will take at LEAST a month to drop the first pound - that is what I hate the most. All that work and deprivation and it won't show on the scales. This is what I have done to my metabolism with yoyoing for decades. My body hangs on to EVERY OUNCE with a death grip, this is no joke. Most people think I'm lying, that I MUST be eating things I shouldn't, but no, it's true - this is what happens. Maybe you know about this so you know I'm telling the truth. Also, because my metabolism is so wrecked, I can actually eat less than others and still gain, or, at least, not lose any weight at all. This is what I go thru, and why it's soooooooo hard to get motivated to diet, because I know what I'm in for. Ugh!!

I do understand what you mean now about the prep before you go to the cottage. I think by now you must know exactly what you can eat and know you won't gain, and how to keep from gaining, the calories of most everything, etc. I think you have done wonderfully and I envy you soooooooo much!! And I only wish some day I will have the same determination as you!!

I can't imagine where you live that it is so cold!! Where I live, it is about 100 every day (the U.S., in the desert Southwest)

It's heading on 10:30am so I think I better get at some things, wake my hub so he doesn't sleep thru Father's Day!! :) Take care!!! I so enjoy hearing from you!

Hugs!!!!!!!
Char :wave:
[QUOTE=girlygirl11][B]Hey char! [/B]

I mean everything I said!! Don't feel that because you are heavier than some that your personality doesnt stand out! (because it does :D) Its great that me just saying that aloud (as opposed to just thinking it) make ya happy! :D

NO NO it's not that i get bored reading posts- thats not it at all!! It just happens when I read... I guess I just have a short attention span (but I dont because it only happens with reading! lol). See, when I read replies sometimes, I find that when they are all in one huge paragraph, as opposed to several smallish ones, people tend to go on and on (like Im probably doing right now!) I dont know what it is- but it has NOTHING to do with any of you's :D...I just skim things, get the general jist, and then reply (and now Ive taken to replying with quotes, so it gives me a chance to reread the post slower, and respond to everything properly! I think I just rush myself to reply fast....I tend to like to get things done NOW, as soon as the idea enters my mind! lol Hope that makes sense...!

Do you know what's funny? I already keep a log of what I eat!! :D I have a big binder that I keep nutritional pamphlets and my meal plans from the hospital, and i refer to that occasionally...but basically i know what to do, like you said....Its just DOING it is the problem! Just like you....I know I can, it's just doing it that needs the work. I feel comfortable where I am right now, but then again, not always :S... for example..when im at home, or with my family, I am a-ok to do my own thing, count cals, eat by portions, etc. When i out, with friends, vacationing, etc, those things are harder to do! I'm going to Europe (Italy, France) next march break, with my friend, and Im a tad worried about managing there! Little things worry me- like I've never gotten drunk, and Im hesitant to because of the CALORIES in the drinks!, and europe isnt going to be like America...so counting cals will be harder (not to mention it would be anyways with my friend there).

Lol...I often get worried about things REALLY far away, and until I reach that point and time, I wont get it out of my head :P

I can understand what youre saying about your weight overshadowing your life...sometimes it feels like that for me (except "weight" is replaced with "eating" lol). Hopefulyl one day me and you both will be free of these curses! I'm hoping the hypnotherapy works too!

xo gg

EDIT: I JUST found out that I am in fact going to my friend's cottage for 4 days (I leave next wednesday). I'm kind of freaking out....maybe thats a tad exaggerated, but i am worried...I mean, her parents dont cook, so I assume we're going to eat out at least once. I dont know whether to try to stick to my 500-600 Cal meals and 200 cal snack, or to copy what my friends do (ie/ tiny breakfast, moderate lunch/dinner, and snacking a lot). I'm worried that they'll wanna go and get drunk (not what I'd like to do), or that I'll feel really weird eating a huge breakfast when they dont, or that ill be just so worried about it all that I wont enjoy myself! ahhhhh![/QUOTE]



Hiya GG!!

One thing I have learned about you in the past many weeks that we have been getting to know each other, is that you tend to worry a LOT about things beforehand....and then after, you find that you did verrrrrry well, and you spent all that time worrying for nothing!!!!! LOL I don't think YOU know you're doing as well as I seem to!! You have managed many parties and get-togethers just about perfectly, and you sweated every one of them, right?? So, what has this revelation taught you????????? How about....to start trusting yourself!! Your instincts! Your knowledge!! Don't you know how terrific you're doing??? And, isn't the proof on the scale?? You haven't been saying, but I imagine that you haven't gained anything, and I sure hope you haven't LOST anything!!!??? So, I do believe that the scale, if nothing else, should be your assurance that you are doing superbly!!! Hey, take a bow!! And stop worrying so much...you'll get yourself an ulcer, and if you DO, you will be VERY displeased at what, and how often, you eat when you have one!! :D And you won't be allowed ANY alcohol at all!! LOL

Oh my goodness LOL I should have known that you keep tract of all food! :-) So, my dear, you REALLY do need to start trusting yourself, because everytime you're away (and lucky girl!! going to Italy and France!! I N V U!!!) all you'll do is fret, and when you do, you're ruining the moment! Moments! Hours! Days!!! See??

OK, I'm confused...is this ANOTHER friend's cottage you're going to? 'Cause, I thought it was for 2 weeks? Must be someone else, then, right? OK< think of this as your "warm-up" for the OTHER friend's cottage you'll be at!! Four days is nothing - you will not become blubberous (is that a word?? LOL) in 4 days. remember we talked about this sort of thing before, too? HAVE A GOOD TIME!!! Worry about the 6 ounces LOL you gained when you return!! Honestly, if you don't stop this worrying you will be grey-haired before you're 20!! Is drinking legal there at 18? Well, if you DO drink, be careful...I think I'm more worried about that for you than your diet! I hope they don't drink to get drunk - not real smart, you know?? But if you do drink, may I make a suggestion, since I'm gathering you're a bit new to this? Have a dry white wine with seltzer - no cals to the seltzer water, and it stretches out a drink!! LOL And a dry wine has fewer cals, too!! As for eating, please trust yourself, OK? You've eaten out before...get things you're used to and then just eat portions you're used to! See?? Simple!! :)

OK, and I understand about the long posts, too...so what did I do??? Make along post, too!!! LOL

HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Charly :wave:
[QUOTE=girlygirl11][B]Hey char! [/B]

I mean everything I said!! Don't feel that because you are heavier than some that your personality doesnt stand out! (because it does :D) Its great that me just saying that aloud (as opposed to just thinking it) make ya happy! :D

NO NO it's not that i get bored reading posts- thats not it at all!! It just happens when I read... I guess I just have a short attention span (but I dont because it only happens with reading! lol). See, when I read replies sometimes, I find that when they are all in one huge paragraph, as opposed to several smallish ones, people tend to go on and on (like Im probably doing right now!) I dont know what it is- but it has NOTHING to do with any of you's :D...I just skim things, get the general jist, and then reply (and now Ive taken to replying with quotes, so it gives me a chance to reread the post slower, and respond to everything properly! I think I just rush myself to reply fast....I tend to like to get things done NOW, as soon as the idea enters my mind! lol Hope that makes sense...!

Do you know what's funny? I already keep a log of what I eat!! :D I have a big binder that I keep nutritional pamphlets and my meal plans from the hospital, and i refer to that occasionally...but basically i know what to do, like you said....Its just DOING it is the problem! Just like you....I know I can, it's just doing it that needs the work. I feel comfortable where I am right now, but then again, not always :S... for example..when im at home, or with my family, I am a-ok to do my own thing, count cals, eat by portions, etc. When i out, with friends, vacationing, etc, those things are harder to do! I'm going to Europe (Italy, France) next march break, with my friend, and Im a tad worried about managing there! Little things worry me- like I've never gotten drunk, and Im hesitant to because of the CALORIES in the drinks!, and europe isnt going to be like America...so counting cals will be harder (not to mention it would be anyways with my friend there).

Lol...I often get worried about things REALLY far away, and until I reach that point and time, I wont get it out of my head :P

I can understand what youre saying about your weight overshadowing your life...sometimes it feels like that for me (except "weight" is replaced with "eating" lol). Hopefulyl one day me and you both will be free of these curses! I'm hoping the hypnotherapy works too!

xo gg

EDIT: I JUST found out that I am in fact going to my friend's cottage for 4 days (I leave next wednesday). I'm kind of freaking out....maybe thats a tad exaggerated, but i am worried...I mean, her parents dont cook, so I assume we're going to eat out at least once. I dont know whether to try to stick to my 500-600 Cal meals and 200 cal snack, or to copy what my friends do (ie/ tiny breakfast, moderate lunch/dinner, and snacking a lot). I'm worried that they'll wanna go and get drunk (not what I'd like to do), or that I'll feel really weird eating a huge breakfast when they dont, or that ill be just so worried about it all that I wont enjoy myself! ahhhhh![/QUOTE]

Hiya GG!!

One thing I have learned about you in the past many weeks that we have been getting to know each other, is that you tend to worry a LOT about things beforehand....and then after, you find that you did verrrrrry well, and you spent all that time worrying for nothing!!!!! LOL I don't think YOU know you're doing as well as I seem to!! You have managed many parties and get-togethers just about perfectly, and you sweated every one of them, right?? So, what has this revelation taught you????????? How about....to start trusting yourself!! Your instincts! Your knowledge!! Don't you know how terrific you're doing??? And, isn't the proof on the scale?? You haven't been saying, but I imagine that you haven't gained anything, and I sure hope you haven't LOST anything!!!??? So, I do believe that the scale, if nothing else, should be your assurance that you are doing superbly!!! Hey, take a bow!! And stop worrying so much...you'll get yourself an ulcer, and if you DO, you will be VERY displeased at what, and how often, you eat when you have one!! :D And you won't be allowed ANY alcohol at all!! LOL

Oh my goodness LOL I should have known that you keep tract of all food! :-) So, my dear, you REALLY do need to start trusting yourself, because everytime you're away (and lucky girl!! going to Italy and France!! I N V U!!!) all you'll do is fret, and when you do, you're ruining the moment! Moments! Hours! Days!!! See??

OK, I'm confused...is this ANOTHER friend's cottage you're going to? 'Cause, I thought it was for 2 weeks? Must be someone else, then, right? OK< think of this as your "warm-up" for the OTHER friend's cottage you'll be at!! Four days is nothing - you will not become blubberous (is that a word?? LOL) in 4 days. remember we talked about this sort of thing before, too? HAVE A GOOD TIME!!! Worry about the 6 ounces LOL you gained when you return!! Honestly, if you don't stop this worrying you will be grey-haired before you're 20!! Is drinking legal there at 18? Well, if you DO drink, be careful...I think I'm more worried about that for you than your diet! I hope they don't drink to get drunk - not real smart, you know?? But if you do drink, may I make a suggestion, since I'm gathering you're a bit new to this? Have a dry white wine with seltzer - no cals to the seltzer water, and it stretches out a drink!! LOL And a dry wine has fewer cals, too!! As for eating, please trust yourself, OK? You've eaten out before...get things you're used to and then just eat portions you're used to! See?? Simple!! :)

OK, and I understand about the long posts, too...so what did I do??? Make along post, too!!! LOL

HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Charly :wave:





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