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Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board


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[QUOTE=Quencher]Pam:
Of course I understand, silly! I know very well that you have a life outside of these Boards. Everyone does.

You did all those things for your kids—really????? No kidding? Wow, that’s amazing. They don’t even do that on TV, LOL! What a great mother you are. I’m sure both of your kids love you very much.

Re the meds, well, I'm sure at some point my parents fed me medicine, I can't remember it, though. They haven't done so in a long, long time obviously. The last I checked, whenever I had a fever, my dad would ask "So when are you gonna die?" And whenever I had a cough, "You brought this upon yourself, didn't you? You sick bast*rd??" Hence, I don't even bother telling them anymore.

At one point, I stopped the exercising ‘cause I didn’t “care” anymore, and I gained 6 pounds in 7 days. Because of this, I recommenced. I can’t seem to cut down on the exercising now. When I don’t binge, I take the opportunity to exercise in event OF a binge. And when I DO binge, my mindset is, “every calorie counts,” and I will exercise until I collapse to burn calories—whether it’s three, six, nine, or nine HUNDRED calories at a time. Plus, it’s like a punishment in a way. “THIS is what you get for bingeing, you fool!” It’s a cycle. I diet, binge, diet, binge, diet, and binge. And these exercise sessions are QUITE tiring, I might add.

Okay, now you’re confusing ME, LOL! In post #122 you said, “…you say you're not fat…” So, that would mean you thought I said I wasn’t fat.
Then in post #123, you said, “You say things about yourself that just aren't true...like, that you're fat!” This, on the other hand, suggests that you thought I said I WAS fat. You just contradicted yourself. :D But anyway, to clear things up, I never said I wasn’t fat. I said I WAS fat, but not overweight.

I have been trying to diet for months and keep failing.” Well, the point system will help motivate you, and hopefully everyone else too!! It’ll be one of the many benefits. And a little competition can’t hurt. Think of it like this, “would you want a bunch of 16 year olds beating you in a game?? What a shame THAT would be!” So therefore, you would keep trying and trying—not JUST to diet, but to win also. Then again, a successful diet would mean you've won. That’s how I see it anyway. I just hope that you're not just saying you'll try it and then just forget about it afterwards.

I DARE you to find ONE thing about myself that isn't true, in these threads!!”
Easy, the fact that you’re hopeless. That took exactly three seconds. Any other challenges?

EDIT:
Oh, yeah, I'd like to add something RE "I don't know if it will get easier with time - it never did before...but then, while dieting, I always disallowed ice cream and desserts and chips, etc., etc., while on the diet. The cravings for "bad" foods never stopped, which is, obviously, the reason the weight piled back on."

I know you addressed it to Aury, but I'd like to comment on it also. Hope you don't mind?

You don't diet by disallowing yourself certain foods. You don't diet by separating good foods from bad foods. "Dieting" in this manner is called depriving yourself of the foods you love. And deprivation leads to overeating, and ultimately giving into cravings. Because the more you deprive yourself of something, the more you'd want it. So it's OKAY to have "bad foods" while dieting, as long as it's in moderation. It's...um... well... it's no wonder you were never able to keep the weight off!!!! When the diet fails, you don't blame the "diet," but you blame yourself instead!!!! Hating yourself and hating your body will not make you slimmer. If it did, well, everyone would be slimmer!!! You see, it's not so much WHAT you eat that causes weight gain, but rather when and how much. And although eating right IS a factor... it's not the main one. The main one is how your body PHYSICALLY feels after eating. The fact that you're not stuffed after eating, and the fact that you were hungry to begin with BEFORE you ate, lol. Which means, YOU CAN HAVE YOUR ICECREAM! But you can only have your ice cream if, and only if, you are hungry... and your BODY is craving for it... and not your mind. You only "MUST" need your ice cream when you are hungry, and at no other time. So no more, "I MUST have my icecream," you hear? ;) Don't set a time in the day when you should have this or that. Wait till you're physically hungry before you have it, and STOP when you're physically satisfied-- NOT when you're emotionally. Does that make any sense?
Look at me talking as if I've just met you, LOL! : But sometimes I have to forget who I'm talking to in order to avoid beating around the bush because I know I tend to "go easy" on people who I have stronger and longer relationships with... due to fear of upsetting that persona and hence losing that relationship, and well, there's nothing I can tell you about apprehension that you don't already know, so I'll shut up now.



Hiya Quench!!

OK, sigh......looks like we have to argue again. :) Your 5th paragraph, I think you have this a bit wrong, sweetie - YOU are the one that is contradicting yourself. You have said you are not fat...but you most CERTAINLY have referred to yourself as fat previously. In fact, when I first "met" you, on my very first thread, I remember you saying you were were fat! Maybe that's just how you FEEL sometimes, I don't know. This is why I was confused as to whether you were/are actually fat or not. Okeydokey? :D And I completely give up re overweight isn't fat, fat isn't overweight, etc. :confused: I think I have too much on my mind these days!!

Sweetie, I HAVE been trying and trying for a LONG time to diet, and ther is absolutely nothing that has motivated me - not my weight, not my ugly fat, not what the scale says, not my embarrassment over my weight, not my embarrassment to even be seen in public....if none of this has done it, well, I don't know what will. The truth is, at least for now, the point system will do nothing more than constantly remind me of what a failure I am. I'm sorry. This is why I say, and truly believe, that I am "hopeless" - I have seen no evidence to the contrary, in YEARS now. So, you need to find something else! :D

Of course I don't mind, silly! You are free to comment on anything, anywhere! I will say that what you have said, re dieting and deprivation, is most definitely a newer way of looking at things. You must remember my age!! decades ago diets DID mean deprivation - you must stay away from all fattening things. Back then, no one thought of the future as far as dieting - just the here and now. No one ever said how to KEEP the weight off. No one talked about changing eating habits PERMANENTLY. Now, don't misunderstand - this is not an excuse. I am simply stating that for most of my life, up until the past...decade?? or so, this is the way it was, and what I got used to. You know what you said about exercising, that it's a way to punish yourself for bingeing?? Welp! That's exactly the way feel about a diet. I have gained so much weight that I DESERVE to suffer - and what better way than to not eat ANY of the foods I like?? OK, that is part of it, but not all - the other problem is that I just can't do portion control. If I can't have what I what, then I won't eat it at ALL!! It's not only maybe a bit of stubbornness LOL but also, well, I just CAN"T!!!!!!!!! I don't do MODERATION!!! Better to not have it at all! See??? Hopeless!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will have this engraved on my tombstone - "Here lies Charlyssa. She was hopeless. And she's lying here as proof of that."!!!! Anyway, I can't fault a single thing you have said..IN THEORY...because I have heard this many times before in recent years. I have tried, OOHHHH how I have tried. Am I starving to death when I have my ice cream? NO! I WANT ice cream - I NEED my ice cream. I LOVE my ice cream!!!! The problem is...it's an addiction. If I COULD stop, I would. Yes, I well understand what I SHOULD do, but so far, I haven't been able to. Have you been able to stop bingeing? Have you tried this yourself? If it were so easy to do, would you even be here? Would I?? Would Dilemma have been here? I will again say that everything you have said is true, and the way it SHOULD be. It's the getting there.......and I'm just not there, quite apparently. So this is why I hate myself, because IT is stronger than ME.

You never have to fear what you tell me, nor feel our friendship is at risk. I appreciate that you, and any/everyone, takes the time to try to help me. It's just that...that...I'm...I'm.................HOPELESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Besides, I certainly tell you off plenty!! LOL We all do that, I think, because we care about each other, and we all know each other's struggles, even tho they may be different...in many ways they are the same. Or so I think...but I could be wrong..... :D

HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Charly :wave:





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