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Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board


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My problem is different bc I have stress-driven binges that I cant control. I do everything to stop it but when I'm in the midst of a binge, I feel like I'm hypnotized. I can't stop myself. It's as if I lost time. I am 30 lbs overweight and thankfully not more bc I obsessively exercise to keep burning calories. I tried to purge but I cant. I really don't want to either---I've always hated getting sick. Just to explain what I go through, I'll give you tonights session:

My sister quit her job, My dad got laid off from his job after having a heart attack on Aug 10th. My mom is having some mental problems and emotional problems. My cat got in a fight with Something outside and needs medical attention. My kids are sick-----Now that's nothing which I'd consider THAT plaguing to get me to the "eat myself to death stage" but it did

1 full sleeve of ritz crackers
3/4 of a bag of Smartfood popcorn
6 slices of cheese (About that Who knows I'm in a bewildered state)
big bowl of ice cream
more ice cream
peanut butter on bread
big glass of milk

I ate until I felt sick. Is there anyone else who does this? I don't even realize I'm doing it until I count the empty wrappers and see what I've done. I am so out of control and I can't handle it anymore. My family gives me all this advice "stop eating when you are full" To tell you the truth, I never get to the point that I'm HUNGRY. I just eat to calm myself down. It always used to be ok when I could exercise it off. Now I'm over 30 and I guess my metabolism is slowing down bc it's not working. I hate what I do to my body. Then I feel so guilty about what I did to myself I just lay in bed depressed. I'm not anorexic or bulimic so where can I get help? My family says I just have to use self-restraint. I'm soooooo beyond that point. Is anyone experiencing this same problem? My weight gain has caused me to stay in and I've missed some summer parties bc I feel so awful about myself that I cant bring myself to go out. My husband is a great guy. He's trying to diet with me but I'm NOT doing well. He supports me but can't understand the things I do. (cant blame him---it's weird) I know I'm out there but If anyone can relate please let me know. Thanks for listening





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