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Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

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h, I'm glad you've been getting good news about your dad! And how could you think he's not proud of you?! H, you everyone will always be able to go that bit further. If there was a point where you had done everything you could do and couldn't go any further, life would get a bit boring don't you think? Just because you haven't done everything yet doesn't mean you aren't doing your best. Look at waht you have to battle and your determination to do that AND work AND be at home AND help other people etc etc. If you ask me, I think thats something any father would be proud of.

I hope you are doing better. The threads I've read so far give the impression you've been struggling a bit. Am I right? The thing is, you're doing so fantastically well. Look at what you've achieved so far in recovery. Look how far you've come. Ok, maybe there are times you still wish you weren't eating for days on end, sometimes there's times where you relapse but it seems to me, when people are in recovery and they get to those times, they forget that they [B]knew[/B] those times were guna be there. Before you recovered, you [I]knew[/I] that sometimes you would want to go backwards and you [I]knew[/I] that it would be tough and there would be relapses. But you also knew you were going to get better. Because you [B]have[/B] to. Ultimatly (sp?) you have a choice: you can live or you can die. You chose to live H, never forget that. You are going the right way and day by day you are getting closer to being recovered. Through any relapses you may have, that means there is one less relapse to go, every negative thought you have means you are closer to the positive ones.

[B]"Everything's confused at the moment. I don't understand my own feelings anymore...last time i went through this i was unhappy, i hated myself, now i have a loving boyfriend and i want to live so i don't understand why all of a sudden i look in the mirror and hate the body i see. i am not ready to get professional help, i would be a failure if i sought it and i would reject it like last time...i'm not ill enough to be anorexic, i'm not skinny enough, they would laugh at me if i turned up for therapy. it's all i can think about at the moment but i hope that one day i will see that there is more to life than being super skinny."[/B]

Firstly JL, you know theres more to life than being super skinny already, otherwise you wouldnt want to get better. Anorexics aren't all super skinny you know, everyone starts somewhere and so there's no way anyones guna laugh at you if you get help. Plus, you can't judge yourself on whether you are 'skinny enough' because you have a distorted image of yourself. Whats skinny enough anyway? So skinny you are permanently at risk of dieing and losing everything you have? While you have a disorder you will [B]never[/B] be 'skinny enough'. Even when every bone is showing, you will still see yourself as 'too fat'. It will kill you if you dont get help.Sorry if that sounded a bit harsh, I just worry.

I hope everyone else is doing ok, I'm going on a little bit!

Emily xoxox

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