It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

Eating Disorder Recovery Board Index

I'm not sure if this is the correct place to post this, but for almost a year I had been totally obsessing about food and thinking about it all day, not being able to enjoy anything except for eating. It all started when i decided to try to lose some weight (back in December '03), as I was overweight (4'11" and 135 lbs.). I drastically cut calories (about 800 a day) and went down to 110 lbs. without excercise. This was all without any medical supervision at all, of course. No one knew from me telling them what I was doing.
In February '04, I basically broke down from all the obsessing, because food was ALL i could ever think about... I couldn't concentrate on anything at all except my thoughts of food and how much I wanted it. I was driving myself crazy. I then went to a phychologist, found out I had OCD, and was put on 187.5 mg of Effexor (By this time, I was also dealing with many other OCD thoughts which I won't get into).
I was doing pretty good, the food obsessions were gone, but then (stupidly) I decided that I still wasn't skinny enough at 110 lbs. and started cutting calories again. This time though, I was still eating 1200-1400 a day. The food obsession came back, though not as bad as before. Up until September I continued this, only dropping 5 more pounds. I then decided, because counting calories was driving me crazy again, that only 4 days a week I would count calories, and the other 3 I would eat whatever I wanted. That didn't really work... I didn't gain any weight, but on the 'free' days, I was eating about 3500 calories a day, eating whatever I could get my hands on even when I was not hungry.
At the beginning of December '04, I decided enough was enough and I was just going to eat like other people, about 2000 calories a day, give or take a few. I actually feel better a bit now (I am still doing this), and the food obsession isn't as strong at all. I still count calories and think about food most of the time but since I can actually eat it, it's not AS bad *still could be better though*.
But now I don't know what to do because since the beginning of December I have gained 4 lbs. so I am now 110 lbs again at 4'11". I DO NOT want to strictly count calories and drive myself crazy again, I can't. I do excercise now, I have a Gazelle Edge that I make sure I burn at least 300 calories a day on. I am only eating about 2000 calories a day now, I don't want to have to strictly make sure I am under that and feel like I am depriving myself again. Does anyone have any advice to give me?? Thank you so much.
Jamie K.

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:06 PM.

© 2022 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!