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Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

Eating Disorder Recovery Board Index

If you continue you will eventually loose all the enamal on your teeth. I did not believe it when I heard this at 15. Now at 30 my teeth are very short and thin. You can see through them in some spots. It will cost me almost $8,000 yes that is 8 thousand you just read to have veneers placed on my teeth. I started running at 15 I jogged in the morning before school and before I went to bed I ran another mile. While in bed I would do arm circles and leg raises and then get on the floor and do situps, stretches, leg raises so many more things. By 17 I was tired of exercising so I started to eat less. At the age of 20 I stared to stick my finger down my throat after supper. I would go to take a shower and throw up so that the shower would hid the hidious noise of me vomiting. By the age of 23 I could now just lean over the toliet after each meal and the food would come back up. No fingers needed to gag myself. Just lean over and *POOF* out the food came. My body was so use to the food coming up after each meal that it was automatic lilke blinking your eyes.
One day I looked into the mirror and something just hit me. "I HAD TO STOP" I was tired of having to brush my teeth and using mouthwash. I use to have to wash my hands constantly to get the smell of bile off my fingers. I was not happy. I was thin but not happy. My parents never knew of my problem. They just thought I was exercing way to much which I was. I was always geting yelled at to stop exercising. I stopped on my own it was not easy. It took years to get back to normal. I am 35 now. I have been 12 years anorexic and bulimic free. It took me years to get my body back to normal. I had to eat small meals. I ate alot of salads and cottage cheese. I learned that if I ate to close to bed time I was gonna be sick to my stomach all night. I had to stop eating by 6pm and I could not have alot. My body did not digest things well. If I ate to much or to late I would throw it up in whole pieces the next morning while in the shower. I did not make myself I was just that ill. My body had shut down for so many years that it could not break the food down. It would come back up 12 hours later whole along with a ton of acid. My body was producing so much acid to try and break down the food that it was making me sick. If it were not for the acid I think I could have kept the food down.
I just ate my first piece of red meat from Taco Bell in a pizza. I was so ill. I as able to keep it down but that was only 2 bites of it. Red meat I do not think I will ever be able to eat again. I eat chicken,cheese,tuna,milk,wheat bread,salads pasta, alot. It's the greasy things that still give me a tiny bit of trouble. Like in pizza I have to blot it with paper towels before I can eat it. Grease feels like it bounces off the walls of my belly.
The worst thing about throwing up is it ages you so much. SO VERY MUCH! Not only in the face but the body is worn out on the inside.

I am sure you will continue to do what you want. People vomit on purpose for many reasons. Most reasons are either you do it for attention or for the fear of getting fat. Mine was the fear of getting fatter. I was fat so I exercised and vomited over the years. Now I do it correctly and am much happier. I eat well during the week and eat what the heck I want on the weekends. I go to the gym 3 times a week for only an hour. I use to go 4 hours a day 5 days a week. Life is fun I feel better I get along better I am not moody and I am still a size 4-5 Trust me I each the heck out of Reese peanut butter cups too. That is my downfall.

I hope you can find something I said to make you think about what road you are on and if you want to stay on it.

Jenteal :wave:

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